I just read an interesting article in our local newspaper about public bathrooms & if/when you should let your child use one on their own (as in, you wait outside the bathroom, not just outside the stall). There were various points made about things like safety and privacy. I am interested to know what people think about this and so here are my questions:
1. At what age is your child "old enough" to go into a public bathroom without you?
2. How old is too old to allow a child to use a bathroom for the opposite sex? For example- mom takes son into ladies' room or dad takes daughter into men's room. For the sake of argument, assume there is no "family bathroom" option.
I'll tell you my 2 cents later...
6 comments:
I will send Sean into a public restroom if I know it is empty (usually by me asking the last male to check it for me before sending him in). I wouldn't send him in if others where in there. Sean still comes into the bathroom with me and I don't see it as inappropriate at his age of 4. Maybe 6 is too old??? Not sure. I am interested to hear your thoughts. We do have the talks about appropriate touching and who is allowed to touch is "junk" too.
I just in the past year have let my boys go in unattended (often I have them go together- they are 8 & 9.) Before I would have taken them with me.
Steph
Oh, I struggle with this. Andrew is 6, but he looks at least 8. He does not want to come into the ladies room with me, but I do not want to send him into the men's room.
Right now I do not let him go into the men's room alone. I'm sorry if it makes the women uncomfortable when I bring him in with me, but at least women's restrooms have stalls only, so he's not exposed to anything inappropriate or feeling like he's exposing anything.
We have not set a time when I feel he can go into the men's room by himself. I'm hoping that after a few years at school, he'll feel more comfortable with urinals (I don't think he's ever used one) and proper behavior in the bathroom (where do you/don't you look? don't drop your pants and underpants to the ground when you go! etc etc) and I'll then feel like it's time.
This is a tricky question because we want our kids to be safe, but we also want them to be independent and not to be afraid that something bad is lurking in the bathroom.
Francie (11) has been using the bathroom alone for quite a while. I think about 4 yrs now. We have always gone over public bathroom protocol w/ her: don't let anyone touch you, scream your head off if someone does, never leave with anyone, even they say your mom told me to, etc . . .
Fiver (a week shy of 8) also uses the public bathroom alone, but he just started this year. He expressed feeling uncomfortable going into the women's restroom. I think school has done this for him -- he is used to using a boys only bathroom and he knows the deal. He knows how to use a urinal, but he still sometimes prefers the stall because it's a little private. I do have him go in and check to see if the bathroom's empty before he goes, and I stay near the bathroom door until he's done. (unlike Francie, who will usually leave us in the store, use the restroom and come back). So far, it seems to be working.
Sally (4) never uses the restroom alone, but I do allow her to go with Francie at a few select stores. She is very good with her older sister being in charge.
Let me also mention that thanks to years of potty training toddlers, I am VERY familiar with all of the public restrooms at our usual stores/restaurants. I know how they are laid out and where they are located, so if I ever get a gut feeling like it's not okay to send the kids to the bathroom at a specific place, then I go with my gut. Never ignore your gut!
And if we are at a place where I am unfamiliar with the restrooms (ie: I have never been inside them myself/don't know where they are, etc) then I won't allow Fiver to use the bathroom alone. I tell him to cover his eyes and I lead him into a stall in the women's room. Luckily though, when we are going somewhere completely new usually Rob is with us so it's a moot point.
This is a tricky question because we want our kids to be safe, but we also want them to be independent and not to be afraid that something bad is lurking in the bathroom.
Francie (11) has been using the bathroom alone for quite a while. I think about 4 yrs now. We have always gone over public bathroom protocol w/ her: don't let anyone touch you, scream your head off if someone does, never leave with anyone, even they say your mom told me to, etc . . .
Fiver (a week shy of 8) also uses the public bathroom alone, but he just started this year. He expressed feeling uncomfortable going into the women's restroom. I think school has done this for him -- he is used to using a boys only bathroom and he knows the deal. He knows how to use a urinal, but he still sometimes prefers the stall because it's a little private. I do have him go in and check to see if the bathroom's empty before he goes, and I stay near the bathroom door until he's done. (unlike Francie, who will usually leave us in the store, use the restroom and come back). So far, it seems to be working.
Sally (4) never uses the restroom alone, but I do allow her to go with Francie at a few select stores. She is very good with her older sister being in charge.
Let me also mention that thanks to years of potty training toddlers, I am VERY familiar with all of the public restrooms at our usual stores/restaurants. I know how they are laid out and where they are located, so if I ever get a gut feeling like it's not okay to send the kids to the bathroom at a specific place, then I go with my gut. Never ignore your gut!
And if we are at a place where I am unfamiliar with the restrooms (ie: I have never been inside them myself/don't know where they are, etc) then I won't allow Fiver to use the bathroom alone. I tell him to cover his eyes and I lead him into a stall in the women's room. Luckily though, when we are going somewhere completely new usually Rob is with us so it's a moot point.
sorry for the double comment. I am not awake quite yet! :)
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