That is my word for the start of this new year.
Why? Oh I'm so glad you asked ;)
At some point in the past month, I started to realize that I've been harboring alot of bitterness and anger about the state of our lives. While I've always thought that I was doing a good job of taking responsibility for our situation, our decisions, our hardships, it turns out I've got some work to do in that area. My brain was just stewing all the time and leading to nothing but anxiety. It had become very easy for me to just feel sorry for myself.
Admitting this was/is not easy. But doing some soul-searching allows me to start from a place of honesty. And that has made a real difference.
Some how, some way, there was a moment when this awareness took my thoughts in a new direction. I started to think about forgiveness. I wondered if it might be helpful to be able to let go of some of these feelings. To make peace with what cannot be changed or undone. Make peace and make a choice to move forward in spite of hardships that just don't seem to quit.
The sense of beginning to let go has really done my heart alot of good. And hopefully, that change is having a ripple effect on my family and friends as well. I have to say, I felt an instant sense of relief (even though the full process will take some time). Maybe it's because when you start to allow yourself to forgive others and allow for the possibility of second chances, it makes it easier to give yourself those same gifts.
In terms of giving others a second chance, I'm not talking about setting us up to be taken advantage of- I think God expects us to use the brains we are blessed with. But you can be wise without being mean. You can be open and at the same time, aware.
So forgiveness is my word for 2012. I hold onto the hope that this year is a fresh start for our family. I hope that my heart can be opened to all the possibilities that life has to offer us. I hope that ridding myself of the burden of bitterness makes life a little lighter all around.
2 comments:
This is beautiful - I haven't landed on a word for this year yet, I'm giving myself to the end of January - but I really think this is great.
I am not sure you can ever go wrong with forgiveness because ultimately it is so freeing.
Thanks Kelsey! I feel like I've become a bit of a grudge-holder this past year (which I never was before). I think it's something that will not only be healthy for me but also allow me to set a positive example to my kids. If I can stay the course...
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