Bloggy Playdate *pictures*

**Pics added at the end**
**Not my finest photography**

Once upon a time last August, I had the good fortune to meet a bloggy friend.
We had such a good time and I know both Giselle and I had intentions of planning another get together.  We just haven't gotten around to it yet!  In truth, I've had a hard time getting together with friends who live 10 minutes or less from me.  I'm not sure what made this summer seem so crazy?

Somehow in the midst of this August, another bloggy friend (who I also went to college with so we've met IRL before) managed to nail down a date to get together.  Aimee was gracious enough to host me and the kids for a playdate.  She lives in the same general direction as Giselle but further north.  So it was about the same travel time for me, approximately an hour and a half.  Not a big deal.

Let me set the scene here...Aimee has six children so with mine that brings a grand total of NINE kids and TWO moms.  And of those nine children, SEVEN of them are age 5 or under...let that sink in.

In theory, it should have been chaos, right?  Sometimes my three alone cause enough chaos to send me screaming into the street.  And I tell you, it was so easy and so smooth.  Even lunch time was a breeze (of course, Aimee did the prep work so maybe if I had been helpful, I wouldn't be saying this?)

Aimee is the picture of a calm, relaxed mom.  I tend to feed off the vibes of others, so I felt very at ease the whole time.  Hanging out with Aimee and her children gave me an inkling about the benefits of having older kids in the mix.  Her two oldest were very helpful with keeping the little ones occupied and engaged.  So awesome!

While Aimee and I were not close friends in college, we definitely knew each other and also lived in the same dorm one year.  Because our college was rather small, it was easy to at least get a sense of many of the students, even those in other classes.  Aimee is a year or two younger than me but our paths still crossed from time to time.  I felt like I had just seen her last week.  From reading her blog, I have an even better sense of who she is as a person.  And it continues to amaze me how much my friends in the bloggy world really just are who they seem to be.  No surprises, at least none for me!

Our kids all played very well together.  Considering none of them have ever met before, it seemed like they all just jumped in, eager to make new friends.  Chloe and "Mopsy" (bloggy name for Aimee's second youngest, who is close in age to Chloe) were the only ones who seemed to need warmup time.  And I think that is par for both of them.

So the kids played and we got to talk.  Aimee had a lovely lunch with every option a kid could possibly want, including a yummy fruit salad and fresh-from-the-dairy chocolate milk.  We brought a dessert of chocolate chip and sugar cookies.  Aimee had a special lunch for the moms...a salad with chicken that I don't know the name of but it is the kind that has ramen noodles broken up in it...I'm not doing it justice, it was YUMMY and I couldn't stop eating it!  I should do more of these bloggy playdates just for the lunch options, as I've been spoiled both times ;)

I had the pleasure and privilege to hold Aimee's youngest, a baby girl, and she is just so sweet and so cuddly.  I could have snuggled up on the sofa with her and had a lovely little nap (not that I would do that on the first visit). 

The time passed quickly. The kids went from one thing to another, spent a little time outside, although it was pretty humid out, so we mostly stayed inside.  Aimee's oldest put together a bouquet of flowers for me to take home.  I have only two regrets from the day:
1. I did not get a picture with Aimee
2. I owe her older son a card game
(oh wait, and I was LATE...shocker...even though I tried to be on time...so that's 3 regrets)

Regrets aside, Aimee's children are just wonderful, very kind, very sweet and so friendly!  I loved chatting with them.  And Aimee herself is awesome as well.  She's really got it together, even though I know there are times she doesn't feel that way.  It was great to make a new friend and I hope that Aimee and her kids enjoyed it as much as we did.

Thanks for a lovely day!!  Hopefully we can do it again some time :)

Aimee has this toy out in her yard... a HUGE hit with my kids.
I'll be searching for one online soon...

Sally, Liam & Chloe
(Aimee uses blog names for her kids- I wasn't smart enough to do that when I started out!!)

Chloe, Sally & Michael

Michael and Fiver hanging out...

The group minus three...two napping and one grumpy!

We all had alot of fun :)

Meeting Real People

So Giselle beat me to this by posting her impression of our Friday meeting/play date...but that works for me because now I can just sponge off her post & build mine from there ;) Some of this post is indeed feeding off of her comments so you might want to read hers first so you connect some of my references...if you want :)

Friday morning the kids and I packed up the van and headed out to meet Giselle and her kids. Normally, I might be nervous about meeting someone new- hoping that they don't think I am psychotic, worrying that my kids will act up, or any number of mishaps that could occur.

I found myself rather calm...in fact, the only thing that had me in a tizzy that morning was the dye job I had done on my hair the night prior. I should have just left it because it's not as though Giselle would have thrown me and my 1-inch plus roots out of her house. But I had been trying to find the time for over a week & I just couldn't stand myself any longer. My hair should have turned out your basic dark brown...well, it looks alarmingly close to a color I would describe as black. Anyway, I got over myself & could care less about it now but I was so pissed on Friday morning. I felt as though I looked like a witch... I forced myself to avoid wallowing in ridiculous self-pity and to be excited for our adventure to meet new friends.

We left late- because when do I ever manage to do anything on time, even when I put in a great effort- and then I had to stop for gas (of course) but we made pretty good time and Giselle was very gracious about it. It was about an hour and 15 minute drive but mostly highway so very easy.

Having read Giselle's reaction to our meeting, I completely agree with her about how easy it all seemed. I pulled into her driveway & felt like I had been there dozens of times. Of course, our meeting starts with Michael putting the potty chair down in her driveway and peeing in it (we are a class act, you know). I was hoping this didn't phase her and it didn't seem to. We introduced the kids and yes, we did hug hello. Until I read her most recent post, I had no idea she wasn't a hugger by nature & it wasn't an awkward hug at all.

I am totally a "make myself at home" kind of person and I often worry that this might put some people off. Again, I am so glad that Giselle didn't seem to mind this about me. And I'm talking about things like putting Chloe's bottle in her fridge or grabbing a papertowel not things like taking a nap in her bed. I honestly felt just as comfortable as I do at any of my friends' houses that I have been in many times.

The day just kind of rolled along in a very natural way...Giselle fixed lunch for all the kids & it was great. Although she had told me she had this covered in advance, I felt a bit like a mooch but I plan on making up for this next time (should she care to hang out again!). I also was getting Chloe situated with lunch and so I wasn't even much of a help. I know that you are all dying to have me come visit you, right? Because I sound like an awesome guest, right? Anyway, not only did she have a perfect kids' lunch planned, she then COMPLETELY floored me by telling me she had a separate lunch planned for us. And for someone who eats PB & Fluff 5 out of 7 days each week, this almost made me weep with happiness. And I would have been totally happy with the items from the kids' menu! We had delicious spinach ravioli & don't take her word for it on the salad- it was so tasty with little nuts & berries mixed in--I thought it was really good. I felt like I had lunch at a restaurant...at least the Olive Garden if not better (you should know I frickin' love the O.G. so that's a total compliment in my world). And ravioli is in my top 3 favorite foods...how did she know?

So everything just kind of flowed, the kids played- sometimes together, sometimes not- inside, outside and back in again. Liam was kind of persistent to check in with me frequently but then he mellowed out a bit. Giselle's Michael napped and Chloe had a bottle. We had complete conversations and talked about such a range of topics and it was so, so nice to talk to an intelligent, interesting adult while the kids played happily. In keeping with Giselle's post format, here are some things I learned during our visit:

1. Giselle is just a fantastic person and such a sweet mom to her children. I can tell that her kids know just what to expect from her and they clearly respect her every bit as much as they love her. She is so easy going and I felt completely at ease with her. I loved talking with her & having the chance to get to know her better. In a blog, you can ask comment and questions but you don't have the immediate gratification of an answer like you do in a real conversation. I am so glad we decided to meet. Giselle is the real deal- how she presents herself in her blog is truly who she is and I had a blast hanging out with her. I will say that there is one area of misrepresentation: I found her home to be lovely & I didn't observe any dust bunnies or sticky floors. I loved every minute of our visit.

2. And the kids? Such awesome children!! I loved talking with Andrew. It gave me a glimpse into a future of more robust conversations with my own kids. We did indeed talk about his school lunch menu, his loose tooth, his new teacher...and I loved hearing about it. Because those are big deal things in his world right now and I was so happy he shared them with me...after all, I just walked in the door not 30 minutes ago. Lily is a cutie & I did not see any evidence of the bipolar syndrome that Giselle references in her blog. She can spell her name and I think she is so proud of that. Michael is just adorable and I think he might just run his older siblings one day (I feel the same about Chloe). I got a little glimpse into Andrew & Lily's closeness too-- they were sitting on the sofa right next to each other & playing some sort of game (I think)...I couldn't hear what they were saying but they were enjoying each others' company & I thought that was just precious!

3. Giselle's home is great!! Lots of things for the kids to do, inside and out. The new kitchen is beautiful--I loved it. Not that I saw her old one in person but you know, that doesn't matter!

4. I learned what a couple of bloggers looked like in college--people like MoMommy and Midwest Mom. Ah, the college days of flannel and beer...it made me nostalgic for my own college years.

5. While we come from different backgrounds, grew up in different places & have our own life experiences, I venture to say that Giselle and I probably share many of the same core values. I am sure there are things we don't have the same opinion about but that's true of almost all of my friendships.

I could on and on...perhaps I already have? Hopefully, we will hang out again! Because I do have just one regret... During our rather lengthy visit--I hope we did not overstay!--I did not get to play their household's most infamous pretend play game--"Neighbor". I will insist upon it next time ;)

A Recap (warning: this is a long one)

This past week and a half has not been easy but has had some very good moments...

Mike and I finally resolved some ongoing arguments that have taken far too long to settle but at least we have gotten there...will spare you the details which are mostly petty and stupid.


I started my summer "flex" schedule at work which means I work a longer day Mon-Thurs in order to have Fridays off. Being at school until 5:15 each day has been a bit taxing on the boys but I think it is worth it overall.

Having said that, today was our first Friday off. The day was highlighted by:

• an early wake-time (considering we could have slept in a bit)
• poop on the floor, ottoman and all over Liam this morning (I am still not sure how the whole mess happened)
• yogurt in far too many places at lunch
• a bloody nose (Michael) prior to nap time.

At one point, I was thinking that maybe they would have been better off at school...We did manage a productive grocery store trip (just me and the kids) & a blissfully restful nap time for all 3 of us & many rounds of the game 'Elefun'...so the day shaped up but that poop clean-up was the worst- and I am still not sure I got every spot.

We also had a birthday party at one of those "bounce" places last Saturday for both Michael and Liam's birthdays and that was a BLAST! We have not been able to afford anything like that yet and it was nice to be able to do something more kid-oriented this year...plus they are a good age for that stuff. If our laptop ever resumes normal function, I will post pictures! We enjoyed a fun father's day topped off by dinner at Friendly's where we got to sing Happy Birthday to Liam once again, since his official birthday was the 20th.

Now on to another topic entirely...

The real kicker for the week was this: On Wednesday, I received a card in the mail from my best friend of 19 years (have known her for even longer), indicating that our friendship was no longer working for her and essentially ending our friendship. To be fair, our friendship has been rocky ever since children entered my life (our lives are not in the same place). In fact, I had a conversation with her a little over a year ago about the changes our lives have gone through and actually felt that we reconnected at that point.

Since then, the distance has grown but I had just kind of made my peace with the fact that most friendships go through an ebb and flow...I would rather have her in my life to some degree than abandon the friendship altogether. I put effort into our friendship but I can't say much of it was reciprocated. In recent months, my efforts had also diminished but were equal to hers. How many times can you invite someone to hang out, go shopping, go to dinner, whatever...and basically be ignored? Eventually, you take the hint, right?

Apparently, she does not agree that some friendship is better than no friendship... and felt that a small card with about 7-8 sentences could sum it all up. Because I know her very well, I wasn't exactly surprised. She came to the birthday party on Saturday and was very cold towards me...so I knew something was up but I didn't think our friendship was over. I know she hates confrontation but I think that a phone call would have been a bit more respectful- even if it would have been very awkward. I tried to call her the night I received the card...she didn't answer...because I know she won't call me back or contact me again, I left her a message with the best summary I could come up with. I only included a two comments that weren't as nice and was glad I didn't go down a far worse road. I ended the message by telling her that for me, our friendship was not erased and while I will respect her decision, from my perspective, the door is always open.

She is (was) Michael's Godmother--a decision I LABORED over because I didn't know at that time if she was really into our friendship. Now I am sorry I didn't ask my other friend, Emily... My brother is Michael's Godfather and since I don't have a sister, I thought that Paula (that's her name by the way) was the closest thing. I thought she would be in our lives always.

I am not outwardly a wreck about this...but I am deeply hurt. It's the type of hurt you feel when someone just cuts out of your life and you feel like you don't truly understand why...you have some ideas but you'd rather hear it right from the source. I am also deeply hurt for Michael- to the point that I am going to ask my pastor if I can literally name someone else as Godmother. I want it to be someone Michael will know...and I want it formally changed if possible. That might seem petty to some but I feel very strongly about that role.

Anyway, I could write so much more but it's late and this post is excessively long already.

Making Friends

Remember when making friends was a pretty easy task? You just ran up to some kid and said "Wanna play -insert game/activity?" and if that person said yes, you were in business. I am grateful to have a solid core group of friends because as I have gotten older, making friends has gotten a bit harder.

When I was in grad school (circa 1999), I met my friend Emily who has become one of my dearest friends. We had several classes together and used to chat before/after class. One day, I said something like "Hey, we should meet for a beer some time" and then we started hanging out pretty often. Once when we were chatting about how we became friends, Emily said she had been wanting to hang out with me more but didn't know how to go about it without sounding weird. And I understood exactly what she meant. It shouldn't feel awkward to simply invite someone out for coffee, a movie, whatever. But as I have gotten older, it seems that is exactly what has happened.

In the past 2 months, I started taking the boys to a little class at the local library. At the same time, a co-worker, Ali, got in touch with me to ask if I would be interested in doing some child-care-sharing. Since we both work part-time, we had only met briefly. It turns out that she takes her kids to the same library class. So we have been taking turns hosting lunch after the once a week class (basically a play date but I hate that term for some reason).

Last week, Ali invited me to a movie that she won free passes for- The Secret Life of Bees- and tonight we saw the movie. Aside from seeing a great movie, we had the chance to chat sans kids. We get along really well and I am happy to have a new friend. It would be nice if making friends could remain as simple as it once was because I think that friendship is one of life's best gifts.

P.S.: The movie was a good one with some teary parts...I liked the different characters and found them interesting. There was one 'slow spot' for me but all in all, a very good film.

P.P.S.: Positives!!
*Michael participated SO MUCH in today's library class. He loves singing and acting out all the little songs.
*Liam is really coming along with his participation- during "The Wheels on the Bus", he sings 'all thru the town' and is following the actions that go with different parts of the song.