It's very easy for me to come up with things I'd like to change about myself, especially at this time of year when it seems like everyone is making resolutions.
One thing I'd like to do for myself is start running...I've thought about it for a while now & I think this is the year I will finally start. I definitely need to wait until the weather is a little less frigid because I know I will be discouraged if I start during my least favorite weather. And I don't have a gym membership or a treadmill at this point, so I will choose a more comfortable time of year in the hopes of increasing my chances of success. I will keep you posted if/when I get started on this & let you know how it goes. I will asking my brother, my friend Emily and my friend MoMommy for advice, since they are all avid runners.
On another note: something else I'd like to do just occurred to me recently and it is related to my life as a Mommy. Because we are suddenly at home all day and the weather that is not infant-friendly for outdoor play, this has come to my attention in a big way. Let me start by saying that I consider myself to be very connected to my children and I think I am a good parent overall. But there is one area where I feel that I have missed the mark: I don't really play with my kids.
This might sound terrible but please don't misunderstand. I don't ignore them by any means. We do play some games, they often want to help with household tasks, we laugh alot & there is lots of cuddling throughout the day.
But when it comes to getting down on the floor, getting out a bunch of toys, and just playing...like the less structured, more imaginative type of play, it just doesn't happen in the way I would like it to. I tend to focus more on trying to complete just one more chore instead of joining the boys in their activity.
While I want them to be able to entertain themselves (and the do a great job with that on most days), that doesn't mean that I should be completely absent. They will often ask me to join them and far too often, I defer to a later time and that later time never comes. That sounds just awful, doesn't it?
So my #1 resolution (if we want to call it that), is to play with the kids more...and to prioritize that over doing one more load of laundry or dusting or whatever seems so important to me at the time. My housework is never really complete anyway, so there's nothing to lose there! To take a page from MoMommy's book, I actually would like to make this more of a mindset.
When I am stressed, I tend to have a heavy heart & become very serious, which isn't the best way to live--so I'd like to adopt a more playful attitude in general. I do believe that personality is something that is an innate part of who you are as a person- and I am definitely someone who is easily stressed. I also believe that you can choose to tap into different parts of your personality. When I used to babysit as a teenager, kids generally loved me because I would play with them--whatever game or activity they wanted and I actually enjoyed regressing to age 6 and really getting into their play. I wasn't the type to be chatting on the phone with a boyfriend or whatever.
I will be blogging about this goal for sure- January is my "get it together" month and then February is the true start time. And my hope is that aside from spending this lovely at home time with my littles in a more meaningful way, my soul will reap some benefits from this subtle but important shift in priorities and attitude. Wish me luck!!!
6 comments:
I can totally relate to this resolution. I think some moms are really good at playing with their kids, and others aren't the type that get down on the floor and play as much. And I think you can be a very good mom and not be the "on the floor" type. But at times I wish I would get down on the floor more often. I feel like my kids are constantly requesting me to join them, and I do at times, but I hate having to put them off for other tasks so often. I keep wondering if I'll regret that in the future. But then I struggle because there are things that need to be done, right? I guess it's a balance like everything else.
so yes, I'd like to do more of this, too.
Good luck!!
It's a great resolution and a TOUGH one. I find it reeeeally hard to play with my kids. Especially indoors. I am so distracted by chores, and I don't have a great imagination anymore. I get... um... bored. It's true. And I know it's a common complaint. I like to read them books. And I like to color with them. And whenever I involve them in cooking, I'm glad I did it. So there are those things. But imaginative play? I suck at it.
Emily- Very true about finding the balance and I suppose I am looking for a better balance. Of course things need to get done but I just feel like the world won't end if I sacrifice a few chores (that will get done eventually) to be more involved with the boys. They are growing so fast- I just don't want to miss it! And Chloe will be in that mix soon enough as well.
Erin- I am hoping that if I get more practice with the imaginative stuff, I will be better at it!
Hey Jane! I love love love this post! I have a resolution post too, just haven't gotten around to it. Not that you asked for advice, but I have some food for thought. I too am imagination impaired, but if you read kids books, their own imaginations do the work for you and then you can just get a dress up trunk and let them be in charge. The Salad is forever giving me needles or making me walk the plank. I really struggled with the amount of time the Salad needed from me last winter. I spoke to Matty's EI instructor about it and she said they absolutley NEED to entertain themselves. I also knew that if I didn't cook or do dishes or wash, it wouldn't get done. So now, I spend 30 minutes entirely focused on them. Then I spend 30 minutes on housework, after I have given them some stuff to do. Puzzles, stickers, colorwonders, a giant piece of cardboard to scribble on. I do as much as I can in that 30 minues, then after I can give them 30 more minutes without those pestering thoughts of what needs to be done next. This works best if you have a list of TO DO for the day, but I am anal retentive and scatter brained. Anyway, not to say I do this everyday, but on the days we are home that seem like the are 500 hours long, it helps keep me sane. Let's get together for a playdate?
Alicia,
Great ideas! We do read every day and incorporate some of the same activities you suggested.
I really like your idea of the 30 minute rotation.
My post might be misleading- it's not that I don't feel as though I can engage in imaginative play, it's more the idea of making the time for it--the idea of NOT emphasizing chores/housework at the expense of precious time with the kids. I might need a follow-up post, this is getting long-winded! More to follow in my next post :)
Jane I can completely relate to your thoughts. It is so hard to balance the kids and housework. When you figure out what works let me know.
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