Philosophy

My major in college was psychology. In addition to major-related courses, at my college you had to take various other courses including an Intro to Philosophy course and then one additional philosophy course after that (remember when 'liberal arts' colleges were a big deal?).

Anyway, I absolutely LOVED my philosophy professor. Dr. Kerr was wacky and disheveled and an amazing teacher. He was married with two or three young children at the time and we used to laugh and wonder about what he was like as a dad. Like, if his kids asked him a basic little kid question, did he answer it as a father or did he ramble on & question the reality of a blue sky or the existential crisis of the goldfish? All that aside, he was a truly gifted teacher and I feel fortunate to have known him.

I especially loved learning about logic and argument- so much so that I chose a course specific to that as my elective philosophy course. To this day, any ability I have to take down another person's argument (usually Mike's-haha) is directly related to things I learned from that professor. Those courses taught me the mechanics of thinking. I loved philosophy so much, I almost changed my major...

Philosophy somehow managed to simultaneously make me more aware of others/the world around me and also more self-absorbed/introspective. I think that philosophy class was especially appealing to me at that time because I was trying to figure out my life and I wanted it to have a deeper meaning. Aside from writing papers, studying, and preparing for the future, I was also going through the ups and downs of friendships, relationships, etc. I was learning how to navigate my way in the world. I remember feeling like I had so much angst at the time & learning about different philosophies helped me manage some of the drama that was an intricate part of my daily life at the time. If I only I realized at the time how easy I had it!

These days I can't say I spend much time pondering my place in the world or the meaning of life or any particularly deep thought.

This could be a bad thing because it could be that I am simply cruising along at the surface and not extracting any meaning out of my life. And one day I will realize this and have my own existential crisis. Oh No! Or...

It could be a good thing because it could be that I am living my life so passionately that there is meaning woven into each day. It could be that meaning is so apparent in my daily life, that I don't have to go searching around for it in the dark corners of my subconscious mind. I don't need to spend so much time just thinking.


While it is my husband and children who keep me from having more time to think on that deeper level, they are also the reasons why I don't have to invest so much time and energy into finding meaning in my life. Along with other family and our friends, they inject my life with meaning and purpose every single day.

I am certain that I am usually absorbed in the happenings of my own family. I don't always focus on the bigger picture and that's an area that I can work on. But in this moment, I think my focus and energy are placed exactly where they should be. Right now, the three little children that I have the pleasure of spending each day with demand that I give them everything that I have to offer. And they deserve it!


Being a parent has probably made me more of a realist than I ever was in the past. It has caused me to abandon more fatalistic ways of thinking. No matter what the reasons, Life has ups and downs for all of us. So called "karma" does not apply itself consistently.

But I still like to hold on to a dreamy quality in my thoughts. You know what I mean... The part that allows you to envision a time when you will once again sleep through the night, eat a meal uninterrupted or finish a conversation with your spouse without hearing the words "Hey Mommy..." More importantly, the part that you tap into when you imagine what the future holds for your precious offspring. How will your role as a parent evolve over time? What will Michael think about Geometry class? What it will be like teaching Liam to drive? Will Chloe end up playing a particular sport? The answers to these questions will come, each in their own good time.

I wonder what kind of people my children will turn out to be. I know I already have a sense of each their personalities and see how it affects the way they interact with the world. My hope is that they will be happy, healthy people who bring a little good into the world along the way. My hope is that they will each always have a strong sense of self and that will help them navigate the world with confidence.

Oh and I hope that one of them will invite Mike & I to live with them when (God-willing) we are too old to live independently because I am secretly terrified by the thought of living in a nursing home... I think if your children volunteer to live with you again even when it is no longer required, that is the true mark of good parenting ;)