When I was in my 20s, I was often anxious and probably mildly depressed for a little while too. Once I was able to work through the causes, I was relieved of those intense feelings. And since being married and having children, I've found that my overall state of being is neither anxious nor depressed. And it's a wonderful thing to be free of that.
But every once in a while, something comes up that triggers some of that anxiety. That's just life, I suppose. And those feelings are generally related to a specific situation. In that case, once the situation is resolved, the anxiety goes away and all is well.
For the past couple of weeks, my anxiety level has been steadily on the rise. I have not been able to pinpoint an exact cause. It's not a fun experience. Because I recognize the feeling and then I maybe kind of get anxious about BEING anxious. Not able to find an exact cause, it's taking me a little longer to process through it.
When you have live with a particular feeling ALL of the time, you don't realize how crappy it really is. Then once you are free of it, you look back and realize just how much energy was burned by it. And if you are able to move on, you feel grateful, thankful and hope you never return to that state again.
So I'm just trying to remind myself that this too shall pass. That I will figure it out, work it out and let it go. It's not easy but I'm trying! One step was my recent break from Facebook. Another step is to refocus on my kids and to be more present with them. As a parent, you don't really have time to get too self-absorbed. But when anxiety sets in, I tend to focus inward--I would argue it kind of goes with the territory.
One of the lasting benefits of seeing a counselor (aka therapist) is that you can always apply what you learned. So I am pulling all these nice little cognitive tactics that have worked well for me in the past. Because even though I kind of begrudge those sorts of therapy techniques, they really do work for me.
Step One-Take care of yourself by limiting those things that provoke anxiety (done in part with the FB break) and make time to do something fun/relaxing (girls lunch on Sunday). I have to start somewhere!
6 comments:
So sorry that you are struggling. I have always been an anxious person, and it seems to have gotten worse in recent years (since having kids, really). Since Luke was born, it has reached levels that have made me consider getting help, but I haven't yet. Sometimes it's triggered by a situation, and sometimes it's not. Anyway, I hope that you are able to make those strategies work. I wonder if you can share them as a list?
YAY for you! recognizing feelings, taking the steps you can to overcome it. Totally awesome. The rest of the schtuff? not so great. but you are the un food packet (the nonviolent phrase we use instead of 'da bomb')
btw, more and more I'm leaning toward xnaying fb totally!
I so admire your FB break. I know that feeling of anxiety all too well. I put alot of it on myself and I'm sure you do too. I always find my anxiety is worse when I am taking care of everything and everybody else and neglecting my own health and mental well being. When I realize, I try to get to bed earlier, go out by myself, remember to take my vitamins. Little things add up, you know?
A- You are so right...those little things are not that hard to do and they really do make a difference. Those are the things I used to think would never work ("How is doing something for myself going to make everything else better?"). Somehow, if you use it as real downtime, it really does take the edge off :)
I've been saving this post as unread for DAYS now, because I really wanted to comment.
I am sorry you are having a hard time with anxiety and I absolutely relate. Your statement about anxiety over having anxiety really rings true with me too. Once you experience that crushing anxiety, it's a feeling you don't forget.
BUT, you are right that we can learn to understand it, and to incorporate it into who we are and how we live. I'm glad you're taking a FB break even though I miss "seeing" you there. It sounds like a very healthy decision.
*hugs*
Oh I echo a lot of what Erin said. I'm sorry things are difficult right now but I also think it sounds like you are really self-aware and doing good things to try to keep your feelings in check. I, too, will miss you on facebook but I hope the break is healing.
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