About a month ago, I wrote a post about some spiritual struggles I am having. And Kelsey asked me what I think about Confession- in the Catholic sense of the term.
As a kid, I used to get super nervous when I had to go to confession--not because of any of my actual SINS but because of the prayers and words you were supposed to say. I wanted to do it just right. I recall when you could opt to go to "face-to-face" confession (which meant you could see the priest and vice versa) rather than old school style where your identity was protected by some type of partition or screen. This happened when I was in 5th grade. In Catholic school, you kind of rocked if you chose to go face-to-face. And I desperately needed cool points so I'd go with that option whenever possible. I am fortunate to have had positive experiences with priests and was never in any way uncomfortable or had anything inappropriate go on (thankful for that!).
I always liked confession. I liked having a way to clear my conscience. I can't say that I go regularly now. Probably once or twice a year, usually one of those times being around Easter. I feel that part of the point of it is to make you think about what you've been up to--spiritually speaking. The chance to ask yourself if you really are being kind to others, being honest, etc. Maybe because I grew up with it, it was and is okay with me.
One benefit of confession- from my view- is that I don't have a hard time saying I'm sorry to other people. I know many people who have a hard time with apologies--and it isn't because they aren't sorry or because they don't care about the person they have wronged. They just aren't comfortable with apologies. So I think all that regular "confessing" I did makes apologizing to others easier. On the other hand, so called "Catholic guilt" is not so helpful--sometimes I feel overly responsible for things that aren't my fault...which can also fuel my anxiety. This isn't particularly useful to me, especially right now.
Overall, I like Confession as a sacrament. I understand that to some people it is a strange thing to do. I always wonder what others think about it so feel free to share your thoughts if you'd like.
4 comments:
Interesting topic. I appreciate the concept of confession in theory, but in the context of today's Catholic Church, I appreciate it a lot less. I'm a truly a Catholic who has pretty much turned away. But I miss it a lot. I miss so many things, but I miss (whoa, realizing this is gonna sound hokey... but here goes) the relationship with Jesus the most. I do. The idea that you can have an actual, personal relationship with a human-like God? Someone who is merciful and just? What an awesome, awesome thing. I do miss it.
Erin- I appreciate what you are saying about the concept of confession in light of all that is going on right now with the Catholic church. And that is one of my pet peeves about things like confession or the idea of being "born again". I don't think that the ability to seek and (hopefully) obtain forgiveness means that you should just do whatever you want because, hey, I'll just go confess and be good to go. Or thinking, "Well, I'm born again so no matter what, I'm SAVED". I don't think that was/is the true intention, you know?
Oh thanks for posting this - I might have to email you at some point to discuss more... Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I wish I felt comfortable asking more of my grown-up Catholic friends about this - obviously it is something on my mind.
Kelsey- I think many people would like the chance to discuss this kind of thing. I feel like a big benefit of my college experience (small, liberal-artsy, Catholic) was that we talked about things. And it was good- because I stopped feeling like I was just following my mother's lead into a religion...and it started to be my choice. To me, questioning does not indicate a lack of faith. And please email :)
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