2

I think the terrible twos are on a collective jag this week. I know of at least 3 other moms who are also experiencing daily 2 year old wrath. One is blog friend Erin and you can read about her recent experience here.

Let me preface this by saying that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Michael. He is my little man. I always feel a little bit guilty complaining about him when I wouldn't trade him for ANYTHING in the world. But he is a toddler and he has his moments and well, you gotta vent about them sometime, right?

Having said that, today was a very trying day. I was really tired so that didn't exactly help. It started first thing this morning, hit its peak this afternoon and then kind of mellowed out- whew.

Here are the highlights:
*Being screamed at first thing in the morning because he wants his milk and his cartoons and oh yeah, our cable was out (damn Verizon) and I had a 10am client/school meeting that I was trying to get ready for. FUN!
*Being told "no" or "okay monny"(add sarcastic tone) when I asked something of him, or pointed at with the index finger near his cheek and told "you no say me"--translation: Michael doesn't want me to correct him.
On a side note, the finger pointing thing is totally aggravating but if I wasn't the target it would seriously crack me up. The description doesn't do it justice. I need to try and get a photo because it's really funny...but not in the moment.
*Basic refusal or defiance for about 95% of my requests today. Most of the time the opposite of my request was done.
*Nap time= Michael out of his crib, playing with electrical cords (items now removed), rolling up wipes and stuffing them wherever, opening a dresser drawer and taking out everything, using his toy drill on his crib to make a nice loud noise, screaming at the top of his lungs that he wants to come downstairs.

I have no clue what to do about the out of crib thing...I don't mind if he gets out and reads books or plays quietly but lately he gets into EVERYTHING. I can't empty his entire room, can I? He wants me to stay up there with him, so if I stay to monitor him, he's really just getting what he wants. I am working on that gameplan but its not an easy one.

I was really frustrated but we did make it thru- mostly thanks to dinner at Grammy and Poppy's house! That really broke up the evening and the boys were definitely tired when we got home.

To counter-balance all that griping...here are some nice things about the day:
*Michael told me I was "comfy cozy" when I was laying on the floor with him before his "nap".
*We went out for lunch and the boys were PERFECT
*Liam sat next to Michael on the sofa, put his head on Michael's shoulder and then kissed his cheek x3
*Both boys went to bed without much fuss:)

So a day that started off on a really sour note did end up okay. I am hopeful about tomorrow :)

Two-year-old Tricks

I love how a problem that starts out as legitimate becomes a new mode for manipulation in the toddler world.

I recently wrote about Michael's new fears in Almost Supernatural and I can say that there are definitely times when he is truly scared because his imagination is getting the better of him (or our house is intermittently haunted?). Then there are the OTHER times when he just doesn't want to go to sleep and there is all kinds of wailing and gnashing of teeth to see if he can get me to read another story, stay in his room, let him empty a dresser drawer, etc.

After some reading (mostly to calm my OWN fears-- monsters are fine but I am not keen on anything ghost related and yes it does freak me out and yes, you can go ahead and laugh), it seems that some of this monster-business is related to the fact that Michael doesn't want to be separated from us. This is all very typical for his age. So I am trying a few things, for example staying upstairs but not in his room for maybe 10 minutes so he knows that I am close by. Also, if he gets out of his crib, I warn him that I am going downstairs and if he doesn't get back in, I follow through and go downstairs. He usually whines/screeches for a couple of minutes and then settles back down.

I think he knows that I don't like to see him afraid because he is starting to use the fear factor to his advantage. So until he realizes that it's the mention of the "girl" not the monsters that gets to me, it seems my approach is working.

*One benefit of the extra time upstairs is that our laundry is getting put away in a very timely manner so at least something productive is happening*

Short and sweet

I don't know what happened but as of yesterday, I have my dear sweet Michael back!! Someone must have heard and answered my prayers because he has resembled the more happy-go-lucky Michael that I know and love. There are still some rocky moments in the day but it is a huge improvement. I've changed a few of my strategies for how to handle an impending tantrum and for the moment, it's working!

I am not going to say anything else for now because I don't want to tempt fate...

Who made 2 so terrible?

Oh my goodness, as I write this, it has been quite an AUGUST with Michael. The past 3 days have been particularly rough which is why it is on my mind. I know that everyone warns you about the "terrible twos" but all I can say is WOW. Up until now, we have had some rough patches here and there but in the past 2 weeks, it's become a whole new game...and I don't like this game! I don't know how to play this game!

This child can go from 0 to 150 in no time flat. The whining/wailing/screeching sessions are getting loooonger and my patience is getting, well, non-existent. Michael's mood is just really, um, MOODY. It starts at breakfast (or sometimes as soon as we come downstairs) - and it continues thru until nap-ah, blessed sleep! But then we just pick up right where we left off. Don't get me wrong, he does play, he does laugh, he does seem to enjoy parts of his day. But the morning is VERY loooong and that hour before dinner is RIDICULOUS. The late afternoon is a tough time for Liam too so they are both competing for Olympic Gold in whining. As we approach bedtime, Michael does seem to settle and for that I am very thankful!

I just feel like I don't handle things as consistently as I would like to....and I lose patience all too quickly. And then I am a rambling idiot. So I know what I SHOULD be doing in terms of consequences and such...if I could do them in a consistent way, I know it would help because we have had some successful moments. My question is...how do I keep my cool so I can implement a consistent plan?? That is my question.

I can handle the shorter, sporadic temper tantrums... but once there has been that ongoing whining and wailing, I am just done. I think it gives me flashbacks to the time when Michael had colic as an infant. It lasted about 3-4 months but had a definite impact on me and my ability to tolerate long periods of crying. Liam was never in the colic zone but anytime he cried for an extended period of time, I would feel that anxious, panic-type feeling creeping up on me. And I would immediately seek help/support because I knew that I needed to reach out to others so that I didn't completely fall apart. It might sound like I am being dramatic but that was a tough time. I think that the infant colic experience was my toughest parenting challenge to date...but the terrible twos are quickly gaining ground.

Hopefully, we can find some tricks to help us thru this because Round 2 of the terrible 2's will happen again next year with Liam...oh that's scary! Aside from wanting to keep my own sanity (and not feel like I am constantly saying "no", "stop", "you're getting a time out", etc.), I just want to know that Michael has joy in his everyday life. It's so sad when he is so out of sorts. While he can certainly work me over- just like all of our little angels can- there are times that I can see he doesn't even know what to do with himself. If I actually leave my "anonymous" blogging status behind some time soon, perhaps someone will read this and I can get some good advice? We'll see...