375 days apart

*Foreword: This post was very difficult for me to write because I kept getting SIDETRACKED. So if you think this is a bit tangential a times, well, be happy that I spared you the first drafts*

Recently, a friend of mine from college and new mommy (Florida Ink) asked what it is like to have two kids so close together. Since that was one of my potential blog topics anyway, I figured I would talk about it now. I am sure that others with kids close together have similar experiences but here is my take...and some of this is probably true regardless of the age difference between your kids.

While we didn't exactly plan to have children so close together, Mike and I both agree that we wouldn't have it any other way. In fact, if our finances weren't so messed up, we would have #3 in the oven right now. But that's another topic- ugh!


Pregnancy with a baby/toddler: I had a pretty easy pregnancy so other than a couple months of (somewhat intense) morning sickness, I didn't find it hard to be pregnant while caring for increasingly active Michael. I did work full-time and I think it was actually easier to work because I wasn't chasing Michael all day long. At work, I could actually sit down and eat lunch in peace. It was awesome when Michael got to the point where he could crawl up the steps (with me right behind him of course). I was overjoyed when he walked at 11 months. Everyone kept saying things like, "Do you want him to be THAT mobile?" To which I say, once they are crawling/pulling up, they can get into everything anyway so I don't find walking to be a negative AT ALL. It took some lifting responsibility off of me near the end of my pregnancy because Michael became a pretty stable walker very quickly and was good at holding my hand and staying with me [unlike Mr. Liam who wants to bolt at any given opportunity]. I didn't really have to change my activity level so I was able to keep up with Michael. I was selective about what parties we went to if Mike or another adult couldn't go with me-- I think it's harder to chase your little one around someone else's yard/house/etc. So the pregnancy itself wasn't hard to manage.

New Baby's Arrival! Once Baby#2 comes along, look out! Mike and I agree that adjusting to life with 2 children was a more challenging experience than being first time parents. The "teams" now have equal players. So with one child, you can sort of pass the baby off to one another and give each other some down time. With 2, that luxury isn't always available and definitely not in the first few months- it's more like Divide and Conquer. And we thought it was hard to get home projects done with just Michael- oh we were so naive!

For me, the first 3 months were the hardest struggle. At some point, you figure out some survival strategies, both babies are growing/learning and each day does get easier. Sure there are adjustment points but you work through them and move ahead- because you have to! Even now, on any given day, I may be in a great mood, have no complaints and think that my boys are the easiest kids in the world. On days when someone is tired/not-feeling-well/crabby, I may want to tear my hair out. I think the best defense is to get SLEEP. The cleaning/laundry/dishes can wait!! If you have 2 napping children, you need to sleep or at least chill out and have a snack. I would say that for the most part, in the first few months, one of the babies ALWAYS needs something...so once you adjust to the idea that you are always feeding, rocking, diapering, playing with, or otherwise tending to one of them, then you just roll with it. And you just try to eat, sleep, pee and possibly shower whenever you see an opportunity!

Another thing that I've learned is- If you have a family member or friend who offers to stop by and help out- LET THEM! Don't turn down an extra set of hands. For us, the winter months were tough because Liam was in the 6-9 month range and obviously not walking so he really didn't like being outside in the cold. Michael is a kid who LOVES to get out so we had to find ways to let Michael run/play. Our basement- which is not totally finished but is clean/dry was a good compromise. My dad also stops by my house almost every morning so he would get Michael outside for some fresh air. BTW, God Bless my Dad!

SIBLING RIVALRY? Michael has always been awesome with Liam. I don't know if Michael remembers life "pre-Liam" so for the most part, they get along. Sharing is not the best but I think that is normal for their ages. We try to give both of them individual cuddle/play time whenever possible and I give them tons of kisses/hugs/etc. throughout the day. Right now, they are at the point where they can play near each other (parallel play) and they are starting to sort of joke with each other, run around together and genuinely enjoy each other's company. Liam, as a typical younger sibling, is fascinated by Michael and really wants to do whatever Michael is doing. Michael is not always happy about this so we try to give him some space when he needs it. They look for each other first thing in the morning and while they enjoy having a break from each other, they are always happy to reunite.

In summary, a few benefits of having your children close together...
*You are already in "baby mode" so you don't have to unpack allll the gear. (But if they are very close like ours, you may need to borrow nursery items, high chair, etc.)
*As they get older, the kids make very nice playmates and entertain each other
*The younger one learns a TON from the older one
*They are interested in similar things so planning activities, etc. is easier

Okay, I think I managed to get my main thoughts out without too much rambling! Now quit blogging and get some sleep!

Sweet dreams...