When life is rocky (not life-or-death rocky but just persistently annoying), I sort of enjoy complaining about whatever is going wrong. But then I feel guilty for complaining about whatever it is and I try to make up for my gripe-fest in a variety of ways (reminding myself that it could be worse, that I am really lucky, that it isn't life or death).
It's as if I'm worried that complaining about something will jinx me and I will lose that something because I wasn't grateful for it.
For example: Michael decides to compete for the title of "Most Tantrums Thrown In An Eight Minute Period" and I complain about what a pain in my arse it was...but then I get all freaked out like "But I love my Michael- He's so awesome- He's perfect- I can't imagine my life without him" etc. etc. And in reality, all the feelings are true and valid: I DO love Michael and sometimes his behavior DOES make me feel insane. Such is life with children, right?
I think it's time for me to realize that I am allowed to feel a normal range of human emotions: happy, sad, angry, disappointed, annoyed, bored, overwhelmed, the list goes on... and I don't have to impose guilt on myself for moments of weakness.
It's okay for me to feel however I feel at any given moment. And a bad moment doesn't mean that I don't realize the good in my life- it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate it...It just means that life is crazy sometimes and you deal with it, get thru it and live for those little moments when all is right with the world.
And lately I really do LIVE for those moments. The pessimist in me needs a daily reminder that the good stuff from the day deserves the same attention/energy as whatever went wrong with the day. Because you will pretty much always have both on any given day.
This is about to get random so let's see if I can sum this up...
1.You are allowed to complain and everyone has bad moments.
2.Complaining about something doesn't negate your gratitude for it.
3.Just because you complain doesn't mean that you aren't appreciative of life's blessings. It just means you are human.
To quote Swistle's tag line "I acknowledge my luckiness, without giving up my claim to the suckiness"
If my mind weren't so cluttered, this might have been a more cohesive post.
But there you have it...
2 comments:
I think it is really important to acknowledge that someone can drive you crazy, but you can still love them. I am starting to drive Andrew crazy...especially when I won't give in, or play with him, etc. And he STILL drives me crazy...with whatever. And so we have a little refrain.
"Andrew, You Drive Me Crazy" And he responds, "But you still love me." Which kind of makes me less crazy. And then sometimes he'll be mad, and I'll say, "Does your mom Drive You Crazy?" He'll eagerly nod and roll his eyes. And then he'll say, "But I still love you."
It's kind of nice, and gives us a way to diffuse. And I hope it teaches him something about friendships in the future...
Good luck!
Yes, yes, and YES. You are right about being grateful. But you are also right that just because it's GOOD doesn't mean it's EASY. And it becomes more difficult to be grateful for something when you're not allowed to feel frustration or exhaustion about it.
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