Tomorrow, Chloe turns TWO! I've been looking forward to celebrating her birthday tomorrow with a little family party. A friend of mine is making Hello Kitty cake pops. I have all the other necessary party supplies and plans to order pizzas, keep it simple and celebrate. Today has totally thrown me for a loop. The house is a wreck, I feel a major time crunch for tomorrow and Mike still isn't home from work yet tonight (it's 10:15 my time).
As I sit and type this, I'm really overwhelmed (in case you didn't notice). It's not that anything big happened in the past 24 hours. It's just this afternoon took a nosedive and everything I was hoping to get done went out the window. I want to cancel Chloe's birthday celebration...there's too much to be done and not enough time. And I'm just drained. I know that's so selfish, but that's how I feel right now.
Michael continues to be a challenge in terms of his behaviors and tantrums. And tonight, he just buried me. A bunch of screaming and crying about a none existent snake in his room. I can't even go into the whole story- it's so ridiculous. He works himself into a tizzy...he does not respond to attempts to help him calm down...pretty soon, I'm in a tizzy too.
I don't think I've talked about this here? but- I did consult with our pediatrician about Micheal and my concerns for him (anxiety/behavior). She agreed that what I was describing sounded like more than just typical 5 year old stuff and recommended seeking counseling. Mike and I had discussed that same possibility- your basic outpatient therapy, probably once a week, start there and see how things go. The 2 people the doctor recommended are not covered by our insurance plan. I called four therapists in our network, only one called back to say that she doesn't work with young children. No one else responded. I'm not sure what to do- we can't pay out of pocket for this but we need the services.
I am also having some pretty bad insomnia and it's taking a toll on my energy level, not to mention my tolerance/patience. I need this to go away soon. It's anxiety-related for sure. I just can't seem to get a handle on it.
I'm hoping that when I wake up in the morning, I'll have some perspective. Because right now, I'm just not feelin' it.
2 comments:
AH! Hang in there! I think that being alone with the children past 10pm can send you into all kind of mental spirals. Totaly understandable considering all that's going on. I hope that you were able to get some sleep and are feeling better about celebrating Chloe's birthday. Big girl!
Arg! Blogger deleted my comment! I'll say a prayer f or you and your sanity. Late nights, no sleep, and anxiety issues make for one heck of a sucker punch. Hope you can find someone willing to help Michael.
And happy birthday to Chloe! Wow, two years old already!!
Post a Comment