Positives first because I won't be able to do them after the rest of this post:
*Liam smelled and I asked him if he pooped and he said "I poop" and it was just cute
*Liam changed the channel on the TV and Michael said "What's up with dat TV Monny?"
*From yesterday, Michael peed on the potty twice :)
Now on with the post topic:
The dreaded day has come...I now know that I am one of the candidates for the job I recently interviewed for. Still need to provide references and background check stuff butI don't anticipate any issues.
Full-time; Excellent, relatively inexpensive benefits; Good schedule; Not overly stressful; Full-time; GREAT salary (rare in my field); Area of interest for me; Competent, friendly coworkers; Did I mention that it is a full-time position??
If this opportunity presented itself at any time pre-parenthood, I would have been so excited about it I would be singing and dancing but it's different now.
When I worked full-time after Michael was born, my friend took care of him and I didn't love it but it was pretty easy because I felt confident about his care. But I don't even have daycare options lined up yet. And I am terrified even though I shouldn't be.
I should be so excited- there are so many positives. But my stomach is in a knot- how can I not be with my boys each day? How can I choose to be somewhere else 5 days a week, 8 hours a day? Missing the mornings, the little moments we have each day, putting them down for their naps, just BEING with them.
We could just continue along with what we have been doing. It's really hard and there are times when I really hate the juggling act and the lack of money but we are already doing it so it wouldn't be anything new.
I know Mike wants me to take this job if an official offer comes thru- and logically it does make sense. But my heart is breaking and I just found out about 3 hours ago...and I am already pretty much in tears. I know I have to take this job but I don't know how I am going to do it.
3 comments:
Jane, you can do this! I know how much you WANT to stay home, and I know you also want the work/salary. It seems like you want to be home with the boys MORE, but need the salary more. Being an adult sucks, doesn't it? All these crazy decisions where we do what we need instead of what we want. Of course, I'm oversimplifying, because it's not that black and white...
I think there's a lot of general support for moms who stay/work at home. And being in only my first week back, it feels... odd. Conflicted: I enjoy the 'new' responsibilities, but then feel guilty, like I "should" be at home. And I want to be there with Kaden too- aaarrgghhh.
What about taking the job, being really,really frugal and putting the money toward debt or savings, and then maybe you could re-evaluate in 3-6 months? In the meantime, get cracking on finding a day care :) About 2 yrs ago, I helped my brother check some out- I tend to like the smaller ones that are more multicultural and focused on play instead of 'academics'. Church ones are generally cool, too, as long as they're not too literal.
That's my $.02 but it's really up to you and Mike. We'll be praying for you :)
ps- CONGRATS on being so cool and talented and professional that you get offered an awesome job!
First of all - CONGRATULATIONS! You have been offered an awesome job and you have a choice about whether to stay home or work, which should be great, right? Too bad it doesn't feel great, but one of the most conflicted things we have to decide.
Of course you have to do what's best for you and your family, and only you know all the details to be able to make that call. It's a tough call - I'd be stressed about it, too! But you'll do what's best - you are a good mom!
Oh honey. CONGRATS. Also, change is SO HARD. And these decisions are brutal.
Take the job. It sounds like that decision is already made. But perhaps talk to Mike about how you'll give it 3 months? 6 months? And if you still have that knot in your stomach, maybe you can quit again? I don't know. But serious sympathies sweetie.
Post a Comment