Are you excited? Well, don't be...I am going to attempt to ask you about a situation that I am not able to fully explain here.
You see, I do censor some of what I might blog about here because I don't know if I might some day share this blog with family members (or they might find it on their own) and so I choose not to air ALL the dirty laundry...but here's a stinky pair of socks-
I know I have mentioned once before that there is an ongoing conflict between Mike and his younger brother. They will tolerate each other's presence but aren't on speaking terms. There was a recent eruption of said conflict, involving another family member. Mike's family is a close one and they really do care about each other. I sometimes think that makes arguments, etc. even more dramatic.
Well, during this recent eruption, one family member implicated our kids. To be more specific, this person alluded to the idea that because of the ADULT conflict, this person didn't know when he/she might see our kids again. This happened about a week and a half ago...I am still struggling with what was said.
I think that this statement was a "heat of the moment" type of thing and that this person was not trying to put the kids in the middle of this or be manipulative. But there is a part of me that still says this type of comment is unacceptable. Especially when it was said TO the kids.
While a one-year-old might not pick up on this or the emotion behind it, a two-year-old WILL pick up on at least the tone of voice/emotion and recognize that something isn't kosher.
I still haven't addressed my feelings with the speaker of these words but I feel that I need to say something. Just to let this person know that while I understand their feelings, I don't want my kids to ever be put in the middle of a conflict that is NOT THEIR PROBLEM! Yes, they are going to hear/see arguments. Heaven knows Mike and I argue...but the difference is, when we argue, the kids also see us resolve things. In this situation, the person stormed out of the house right after uttering these words...there was no resolution, there was barely a good-bye. It was awful.
I know it might be hard to judge with the limited detail but I am hoping I have captured the gist
What would you do?
1. Address it now just so your feelings are heard
OR
2. Chalk it up to a bad moment and not worry about it unless it happens again
OR
3. Open to suggestions
1 comment:
Oh this is SO TOUGH. For me it would totally depend on who in my family said it. If it was one of my parents or siblings, I would address it. If it was someone more distant, I would let it go. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
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