Part 1 of 2
Today was a test of patience. The kids were really working hard to wear me down to my very last nerve.
I hate the feeling I get when I realize I am rapidly running out of nerves. Because it means that I am going to start yelling...alot. It means I will feel my blood pressure rise (and I have borderline low blood pressure under standard conditions so I really feel it). I will be slapped in the face with the knowledge that I am not in control of every situation. It is not a fun experience for me.
As I type this, all 3 children are sleeping peacefully, freshly bathed, smelling of Aveeno baby wash (the bottle with the light blue cap smells AWESOME) and vanilla lotion. No one is wailing, whining or caterwauling (credit for that new vocab. word goes to Giselle!). They were exhausted which is probably why the afternoon/evening were so rough and sleep set in so quickly. Sweet relief!
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Part 2 of 2
These are the background thoughts to the idea of a forgiveness theme for the year. The two situations I am about to describe are the things that led me to this idea.
1. Almost 2 years ago, Mike's would-be business partner borrowed money from us. Mike was working for him at the time. Mike had cashed out some 401k money with the intention of using part of it to pay off one of our cars. Would-be business partner, let's call him "Joe", knew about this plan and asked to borrow some money. It was supposed to be for a couple of months. Well, as you can imagine, a couple of months became 6 months, 12 months and so on. I was really upset about this situation. Very angry in fact. Joe laid Mike off (they never became actual partners) in April of 2010. That was the start of some very bad times for us. Anyway, this is one of the areas where I've been holding on to ALOT of anger. After mostly ignoring the debt and Mike's attempts to settle it, Joe FINALLY came around a couple of months ago and a payment plan was agreed upon. So far, it's going well. Once they established that, Joe asked Mike if he would be willing to come work for him part-time here and there, whenever Joe needed extra help and Mike was available. At first I was completely against this. I thought, why would we set ourselves up again? (He also had a history of not paying Mike on time for his regular paycheck). Then one day, I began to wonder....what good is this doing us? Joe needs extra help, we need to bring in more money, Mike is willing to work for Joe part time. So we came up with the idea that as long as Joe pays Mike for the day's work on that same day, then it's a good situation for everyone. Joe agreed and it has worked out great. It's one instance where letting go of some anger and opening the door just a bit has worked out on many levels. It's nice to have some extra income but it's even nicer to be able to let that bit of the past go and move forward.
2. The other thought I had about forgiveness is related to family issues but could include other people as well. Mike is currently arguing with one of his siblings (I know, again! They are a very dramatic family.) It seems to me that whenever Mike is not on speaking terms with a sibling, the effects of that spill over to me and the kids. I am an adult, I can handle it... but my kids are innocent bystanders. I called my SIL "Mel" and specifically made sure that everything was okay between her and I (Mel said that it is). But no matter what, the kids are always impacted by this stuff because I am shut out too. And I'm even more worked up when Mike's mom puts a wall up (because she hates when her kids argue with each other). It upsets me and angers me ALOT. Sooo, that is going on right now, which is unfortunate. I'm trying really hard not to be angry with my mom-in-law. I'm struggling with it actually. Because I feel that she is in a way punishing my kids for an argument that is not their fault and that isn't right. She hasn't seen our kids since December 27th. We normally see her every week or every other week. I have maintained contact with her and with Mel. I have not seen any reciprocated efforts. I don't expect to, at least not soon. This is the area where I think I will struggle with the idea of forgiveness. Because we are all guilty at one time or another of being petty, of avoiding unpleasant situations without considering everyone involved, of holding a grudge towards the wrong person.
Added into this mix, my other sis-in-law "M" is pregnant and plans are being made for her shower. I am pretty much being left out of that process...I am certain it is because of the above mentioned situation. I certainly don't expect to be a main planner but under regular circumstances, I would be included more than I have been. I'm struggling to let things play out and see if it changes. I've already offered my help to my MIL and Mel...we'll see.
I remain hopeful about both situations. But if I am being honest, the second one has me really worried!
***Afterthought***
I must have been feeling bold when I wrote this b/c I don't usually spill so much here. Especially when I know that people I know IRL read here, at least on occassion. Well, it's the truth...so there you have it!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, January 16, 2012
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Besties
All 3 kids are becoming really good friends with each other. Michael and Liam are, of course, joined at the hip most of the time but honestly, Chloe knows just how to work her way in.
She will find a way to insert herself into whatever land of make-believe the boys have placed themselves. Sometimes, they kind of recruit her as a character. For example, I had gone to the basement to grab some laundry out of the dryer and when I came up, Chloe was under the train table with her head sticking out. I asked her what she was doing and told her to get up (it gets dusty under there about 2.5 seconds after I vac/sweep). NOOOO says Michael...Chloe is the MONSTER and that's her HOUSE...I look back at Chloe and on cue she says, "Raaaaaaahhhh". I wish I had a picture of that!!
Sometimes, her presence is not requested. In fact, it's downright annoying. She knocks over lincoln log buildings, steals legos or kix cereal, drinks out of whatever sippy cup is closest (or fullest). She screams in protest...she's even been known to give you a little tap on the head if your behavior isn't as she wishes. And there was a brief biting phase too...
Michael and Liam get into their share of arguments and smack down matches with each other. Rarely is anyone really hurt (well, not physically anyway).
Sometimes there are tears, sometimes there is so much laughter, sometimes everyone needs some space. But somehow, these three little children of mine are forming their own bonds with each other...and it's so beautiful to see :)
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| Chloe is rarely left out of the scene. |
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| At other times, I'm certain it's her charm and sweetness that wins the boys over (especially Liam) |
Michael and Liam get into their share of arguments and smack down matches with each other. Rarely is anyone really hurt (well, not physically anyway).
Sometimes there are tears, sometimes there is so much laughter, sometimes everyone needs some space. But somehow, these three little children of mine are forming their own bonds with each other...and it's so beautiful to see :)
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| I honestly have no idea what was going on here....and I'm thankful! |
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Strawberry Festival 2011
This past weekend, the annual Strawberry Festival was held by a local hospital/wellness foundation. It is always alot of fun & I've gone most years since I was a kid.
It is a Thursday-Sunday event. In recent years, we've opted to take the kids on Saturday morning, right when the place opens at 11am. This has worked for a few reasons: it's typically good timing for the kids, the rides are half price and it isn't jam-packed with people. This year, my niece told me she was going to go on Friday evening. So hubby and I discussed and figured, why not change it up? We still went early. It opens at 5pm and we were there around 5:20. We stayed longer than we expected to and still were home by 9. Maybe next year, we can hang for the 9:30 fireworks?!
Anyway, we still had a blast and the only downside was no half-priced tickets so we spent more than necessary on rides. HOWEVER, I had a brainstorm to pack dinner for the kids (and myself)...BEST IDEA EVER! They rarely eat food in that type of environment but the PBJ, goldfish and yogurt I brought worked out to be the perfect refuel. And we still got to have funnel cake before leaving!
I managed to catch a few photos, including my great nephew Ben (while he is indeed a great kid, he is literally my great nephew-aren't I too young for that?). Can't wait to see what other fairs pop up this summer!
It is a Thursday-Sunday event. In recent years, we've opted to take the kids on Saturday morning, right when the place opens at 11am. This has worked for a few reasons: it's typically good timing for the kids, the rides are half price and it isn't jam-packed with people. This year, my niece told me she was going to go on Friday evening. So hubby and I discussed and figured, why not change it up? We still went early. It opens at 5pm and we were there around 5:20. We stayed longer than we expected to and still were home by 9. Maybe next year, we can hang for the 9:30 fireworks?!
Anyway, we still had a blast and the only downside was no half-priced tickets so we spent more than necessary on rides. HOWEVER, I had a brainstorm to pack dinner for the kids (and myself)...BEST IDEA EVER! They rarely eat food in that type of environment but the PBJ, goldfish and yogurt I brought worked out to be the perfect refuel. And we still got to have funnel cake before leaving!
I managed to catch a few photos, including my great nephew Ben (while he is indeed a great kid, he is literally my great nephew-aren't I too young for that?). Can't wait to see what other fairs pop up this summer!
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| This is the first year that Liam was actually excited to get on rides and didn't have to be |
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| Chloe got her share of rides too- pics didn't turn out great but she had so much fun! |
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| Michael with Ben (doing some air guitar) |
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Weekend Brief and Tuesday Treehouses
FYI, I'm skipping over major world events of the past week...
Here in our little world, we had a busy weekend complete with a 5k run/walk (in which, we neither ran nor walked). We got caught up in the other activities and THEN, we received a phone call from my mom saying that my dad had been in a car accident (less than 2 miles down the road from where we were). I'll spare the suspense by saying that my dad is okay after an overnight stay in the hospital.
While he was driving, someone pulled out of their driveway right into my dad! My dad was traveling at about 35mph so it was a good whack. Say what you will about Toyota, but the airbag and front end of his little Corolla totally did the job of protecting my dad. He actually got out of the car (he saw smoke and wasn't sure if it was the airbag or something else).
His chest is VERY sore from the airbag impact and he has a couple scrapes on his legs...but other than that, he is FINE! Because he has heart issues, they kept him overnight at the hospital to observe his heart and insure that he didn't suffer heart damage (aka, a heart attack) due to the stress of the accident.
I am so, so relieved that my Dad is okay :) If you are one of my FB friends, then you already knew the gist of this.
In other news, we went to Tyler Arboretum today and had a blast with the kids!! They currently have an exhibit called "Terrific Treehouses" which I have heard so much about. We have a membership and will definitely be going back because it was a great family spot. A few photos for your viewing pleasure...
Here in our little world, we had a busy weekend complete with a 5k run/walk (in which, we neither ran nor walked). We got caught up in the other activities and THEN, we received a phone call from my mom saying that my dad had been in a car accident (less than 2 miles down the road from where we were). I'll spare the suspense by saying that my dad is okay after an overnight stay in the hospital.
While he was driving, someone pulled out of their driveway right into my dad! My dad was traveling at about 35mph so it was a good whack. Say what you will about Toyota, but the airbag and front end of his little Corolla totally did the job of protecting my dad. He actually got out of the car (he saw smoke and wasn't sure if it was the airbag or something else).
His chest is VERY sore from the airbag impact and he has a couple scrapes on his legs...but other than that, he is FINE! Because he has heart issues, they kept him overnight at the hospital to observe his heart and insure that he didn't suffer heart damage (aka, a heart attack) due to the stress of the accident.
I am so, so relieved that my Dad is okay :) If you are one of my FB friends, then you already knew the gist of this.
In other news, we went to Tyler Arboretum today and had a blast with the kids!! They currently have an exhibit called "Terrific Treehouses" which I have heard so much about. We have a membership and will definitely be going back because it was a great family spot. A few photos for your viewing pleasure...
Friday, January 21, 2011
Chinese Jumprope
I don't know about you but my friends and I spent a considerable amount of time playing regular jumprope and chinese jumprope during recess. I went to Catholic school and our 'playgrounds' left much to be desired. There were no swings or anything of that sort. They were more like parking lots (literally).
You had to make your own fun. We played lots of games- some of them as I recall were quite strange. Has anyone ever heard of a game called "The Witch in the Well"? OMG, that's a whole post in and of itself. Let me make a note of that...you are in for a treat & will probably question whether or not you should continue to read this blog. Unless you have heard of it...then you will just wonder about yourself.
We finally broke it out this past week. I showed the boys how to do it. At first, I think they were a little confused. But by the second time we tried it, they got it. I am definitely cherishing these moments when laughter comes easily and we are all together just having fun.
You had to make your own fun. We played lots of games- some of them as I recall were quite strange. Has anyone ever heard of a game called "The Witch in the Well"? OMG, that's a whole post in and of itself. Let me make a note of that...you are in for a treat & will probably question whether or not you should continue to read this blog. Unless you have heard of it...then you will just wonder about yourself.
I digress...where was I? Oh yeah, Chinese Jumprope. I got one for Mike (from Old Navy of all places) as a stocking stuffer. I thought we would have some fun with it...and I was right!!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Beating the Cold
Today I took the kids on a little adventure...just the kids and I. To a little place called "Hands On House". And it was so much fun!! I was not stressed, no one tantrummed and we stayed just long enough to enjoy it but not long enough to get bored.
I've mentioned before that I am picky about where I will take the 3 kids by myself. My main concern is always safety- it's sometimes hard to keep everyone together just walking thru the preschool parking lot. I imagine the problem becoming exponentially WORSE in a new, exciting environment.
Then I remember that my kids actually do better when something is NEW and DIFFERENT! It's the routine, hum-drum tasks that throw them into a tailspin. I don't think this is true of most kids but you can let me know if I am wrong about that!
Anyway, this place is dubbed a children's museum. The kids can play with everything and there is lots of variety including a grocery store, tree house, dress up area, farm area, machine shop...you get the idea. I found this particular place very easy to navigate (it isn't too big) and it was easy to keep all 3 kids in view without anyone becoming bored. I imagine it being even cooler in the spring/summer because there is an outside garden and picnic area.
We all really enjoyed it and the kids didn't really require alot of guidance from me. Michael even figured out the assembly line/machine shop at the end. I can see us visiting again. Because I was keeping an eye on everyone, I didn't get the best photos but I did manage to snag a few.
This is my kind of day: we got to do something new and it was effortless fun :)
I've mentioned before that I am picky about where I will take the 3 kids by myself. My main concern is always safety- it's sometimes hard to keep everyone together just walking thru the preschool parking lot. I imagine the problem becoming exponentially WORSE in a new, exciting environment.
Then I remember that my kids actually do better when something is NEW and DIFFERENT! It's the routine, hum-drum tasks that throw them into a tailspin. I don't think this is true of most kids but you can let me know if I am wrong about that!
Anyway, this place is dubbed a children's museum. The kids can play with everything and there is lots of variety including a grocery store, tree house, dress up area, farm area, machine shop...you get the idea. I found this particular place very easy to navigate (it isn't too big) and it was easy to keep all 3 kids in view without anyone becoming bored. I imagine it being even cooler in the spring/summer because there is an outside garden and picnic area.
We all really enjoyed it and the kids didn't really require alot of guidance from me. Michael even figured out the assembly line/machine shop at the end. I can see us visiting again. Because I was keeping an eye on everyone, I didn't get the best photos but I did manage to snag a few.
This is my kind of day: we got to do something new and it was effortless fun :)
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| Liam above, Michael below...insects at base of tree house |
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| Chloe working on her igloo |
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| Waiting for the chickens to lay their eggs |
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| A little shopping |
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| Impromptu stage appearance- Tutu Chloe, Michael the Conquerer, Liam the Dragon |
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| Liam above as Cogswell Cogs...Michael below as Spacely Sprockets |
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| Note-Michael attempted to paint his own face in the facepainting section |
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| Chloe continuing to refuse actually LOOKING at the camera ;) |
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Preschool/Homeschool
I am noticing that my little blog here is lacking in news of the back-to-school variety. There is an excellent reason for that--we are not in a financial position to start the boys off in preschool right now so we are going to preschool at home! And I haven't officially started our program just yet. By next week, we will be up and running.
I bought a book with themes that are appropriate to each month & give plenty of ideas on how to conduct real lessons. I have an odd sense of confidence about this--I don't know where that is coming from but I am thankful for the motivation none-the-less.
I still have no news on the interview/job front...and until I do, we are perking along as though I will always be at home with these littles. And if anything changes, Mike will have some studying to do. We hope to have the resources to enroll Michael and Liam in regular preschool programs in January. In the meantime, we may start swim lessons if I can still get them into classes.
And if I EVER get a new camera (another problem that requires funding to fix), then I will be able to post our little preschool activities so you know that we aren't just sitting around watching Sponge Bob all day long ;)
BTW, we had a FANTASTIC weekend filled with family and fun...and it was extended today by a visit from my niece, Erica and my great-nephew Ben. And it was so much fun! Ben turned 4 last week so we celebrated today with lots of play, pool time in the backyard & of course BIRTHDAY CAKE! Just when I was ready to resign myself to the end of summer & the return of cooler weather, we get hit with two 90 degree days in a row. That's okay- while I am ready for fall & all the fun that it brings, I don't mind hanging on to summer for just a little bit longer!
I bought a book with themes that are appropriate to each month & give plenty of ideas on how to conduct real lessons. I have an odd sense of confidence about this--I don't know where that is coming from but I am thankful for the motivation none-the-less.
I still have no news on the interview/job front...and until I do, we are perking along as though I will always be at home with these littles. And if anything changes, Mike will have some studying to do. We hope to have the resources to enroll Michael and Liam in regular preschool programs in January. In the meantime, we may start swim lessons if I can still get them into classes.
And if I EVER get a new camera (another problem that requires funding to fix), then I will be able to post our little preschool activities so you know that we aren't just sitting around watching Sponge Bob all day long ;)
BTW, we had a FANTASTIC weekend filled with family and fun...and it was extended today by a visit from my niece, Erica and my great-nephew Ben. And it was so much fun! Ben turned 4 last week so we celebrated today with lots of play, pool time in the backyard & of course BIRTHDAY CAKE! Just when I was ready to resign myself to the end of summer & the return of cooler weather, we get hit with two 90 degree days in a row. That's okay- while I am ready for fall & all the fun that it brings, I don't mind hanging on to summer for just a little bit longer!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Just over a month...
Happy November!
I can't believe I am typing this but I have just a little over a month to go before my due date...I keep saying to myself, how has this gone by so fast? Truthfully, the first 2/3rds did NOT go by quickly at all but once the 3rd trimester arrived, the passage of time feels faster.
I think I have finally started to hit a period of being organized and that has brought about a sense of calm. We have made steady process towards preparations & that has eased alot of my anxiety. Having certain things in order helps me feel ready. I feel very strongly that this baby will arrive early so having the physical environment ready is comforting to me...this is the most "nesty" I have ever been.
I am still going to try to post each day for NaBloPoMo- no promises though! Today the boys were up bright and EARLY- ugh. They are currently sacked out--I am very thankful for that because I think I will be hitting the hay early as well. We went to my niece and nephew's birthday party this afternoon, so the party + early rising + no naps = tired family.
On another note, one bummer piece of news I recently learned about: the hospital where I will deliver is not allowing any visitors under the age of 16 at all. I am sure many hospitals are implementing these types of policies. Of course, I completely understand with the swine flu/flu concerns--which are most definitely present in our area-- they have to be extra careful. I am not particularly surprised. Still, it bums me out because Michael was actually present for Liam's birth- along with Mike's mom and my mom..and of course Mike. And it was wonderful...to give Michael one last bottle while I was in labor (before it got intense)...to have pics of Michael looking at Liam in the baby warmer right after he was born...amazing to have those precious memories. Now I am guessing that the boys won't even be able to visit us based on the current policy.
Please know, I am not thinking that hospitals shouldn't be taking every precaution and obviously we will follow whatever rules we need to...it still makes me sad. Somewhere in my mind, I envisioned all of us together for this birth as well. So I am adjusting my vision and know that things will fall into place no matter what- and we will have more pictures than we ever imagined.
I am hopeful that this new month is a peaceful one and that we can continue to feel more and more ready for "Baby Sassy" :)
I can't believe I am typing this but I have just a little over a month to go before my due date...I keep saying to myself, how has this gone by so fast? Truthfully, the first 2/3rds did NOT go by quickly at all but once the 3rd trimester arrived, the passage of time feels faster.
I think I have finally started to hit a period of being organized and that has brought about a sense of calm. We have made steady process towards preparations & that has eased alot of my anxiety. Having certain things in order helps me feel ready. I feel very strongly that this baby will arrive early so having the physical environment ready is comforting to me...this is the most "nesty" I have ever been.
I am still going to try to post each day for NaBloPoMo- no promises though! Today the boys were up bright and EARLY- ugh. They are currently sacked out--I am very thankful for that because I think I will be hitting the hay early as well. We went to my niece and nephew's birthday party this afternoon, so the party + early rising + no naps = tired family.
On another note, one bummer piece of news I recently learned about: the hospital where I will deliver is not allowing any visitors under the age of 16 at all. I am sure many hospitals are implementing these types of policies. Of course, I completely understand with the swine flu/flu concerns--which are most definitely present in our area-- they have to be extra careful. I am not particularly surprised. Still, it bums me out because Michael was actually present for Liam's birth- along with Mike's mom and my mom..and of course Mike. And it was wonderful...to give Michael one last bottle while I was in labor (before it got intense)...to have pics of Michael looking at Liam in the baby warmer right after he was born...amazing to have those precious memories. Now I am guessing that the boys won't even be able to visit us based on the current policy.
Please know, I am not thinking that hospitals shouldn't be taking every precaution and obviously we will follow whatever rules we need to...it still makes me sad. Somewhere in my mind, I envisioned all of us together for this birth as well. So I am adjusting my vision and know that things will fall into place no matter what- and we will have more pictures than we ever imagined.
I am hopeful that this new month is a peaceful one and that we can continue to feel more and more ready for "Baby Sassy" :)
Thursday, October 22, 2009
33
33 weeks pregnant...the time is going very fast and rather slow- all at the same time. A day can drag on for an eternity but the week is over before I know it!
I can't believe it's Fall. October is here and almost gone. I find myself caught between two very strong desires...
One is the desire to hold on to what is familiar and known. To stay in the present and soak in every minute before making the jump to a family of five. To see Michael and Liam, in all of their beauty, where they are right now. To take advantage of time with Mike because that will be the first thing to go, right?
The other is the desire to prepare and be ready to meet this new baby, who I already feel as though I know. He or she IS Sassy. That is, if in utero movement is any indication. I think the activity level of the baby, while reassuring & at times freaky, is also fueling my anxiety about having everything ready. I know we have done this before...but I also know how HARD it is to complete any extra tasks once you live in newborn world. So I want to have as much done as possible. And of course, the mental prep is in there too--as in me telling myself "Jane, you will need to actually WAKE UP when the newborn cries, not just wait for the patter of little feet down the hall way coming to join you in your bed"
These two desires are at odds with one another. It's hard to be focused on the moment when there is a long, long list in your head just begging to be checked off. We just put the boys in the same bedroom and that transition is going fairly well overall. I think that once I have everything sorted between the two bedrooms, have a few clean baby clothes ready and the cradle put back together, then I will start to feel less stressed.
There is a big part of me that suspects this baby is going to arrive early--not super early but I don't think I am going to make it until December 10th. So with November rapidly approaching, I feel like time is slipping away from me.
I am trying to keep some degree of balance-for my own sanity and for our family.
It's a struggle but it's a really exciting time and I am keeping that worry bug of mine at bay so that I don't miss out on the fun! Wish me luck as worrying comes more naturally to me ;)
I can't believe it's Fall. October is here and almost gone. I find myself caught between two very strong desires...
One is the desire to hold on to what is familiar and known. To stay in the present and soak in every minute before making the jump to a family of five. To see Michael and Liam, in all of their beauty, where they are right now. To take advantage of time with Mike because that will be the first thing to go, right?
The other is the desire to prepare and be ready to meet this new baby, who I already feel as though I know. He or she IS Sassy. That is, if in utero movement is any indication. I think the activity level of the baby, while reassuring & at times freaky, is also fueling my anxiety about having everything ready. I know we have done this before...but I also know how HARD it is to complete any extra tasks once you live in newborn world. So I want to have as much done as possible. And of course, the mental prep is in there too--as in me telling myself "Jane, you will need to actually WAKE UP when the newborn cries, not just wait for the patter of little feet down the hall way coming to join you in your bed"
These two desires are at odds with one another. It's hard to be focused on the moment when there is a long, long list in your head just begging to be checked off. We just put the boys in the same bedroom and that transition is going fairly well overall. I think that once I have everything sorted between the two bedrooms, have a few clean baby clothes ready and the cradle put back together, then I will start to feel less stressed.
There is a big part of me that suspects this baby is going to arrive early--not super early but I don't think I am going to make it until December 10th. So with November rapidly approaching, I feel like time is slipping away from me.
I am trying to keep some degree of balance-for my own sanity and for our family.
It's a struggle but it's a really exciting time and I am keeping that worry bug of mine at bay so that I don't miss out on the fun! Wish me luck as worrying comes more naturally to me ;)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Perfection is optional
So I was just reading this post over on Giselle's blog and boy am I glad I did.
Then I commented and somewhere in there I said "Perfection is not a necessity for happiness".
Should I adopt this as my new mantra?? Rhetorical question folks because HELL yes, I should.
Mike and I had a giant heart-to-heart talk last night...That, along with some very nice comments received on my last two posts, is helping me to slowly come back to planet earth. I am a person who does not respond well to too much stress & basically I had reached my threshold and then some. Having a 3-day weekend definitely helps my mindset. I also got my hair cut/colored last night which gave me a boost because I look much less crappy. When I get overly-stressed, I always sound like I am about to jump off a cliff but it actually takes very little to bring me back to center.
My father-in-law is in town for a few days so all the boys went out this morning for some post-Birthday shopping at Toys R Us. This left me home alone for a couple hours to putter around, do a few things and relax. The boys are napping (well, one is and the other isn't but he is mostly quiet) so I am relaxing now too and we have the rest of today plus TWO more days to just do whatever we want. Sunday I am also having lunch with friends. Some much-needed girl time, along with the quality family time, should go a long way in helping me get my priorities in order. It should also help me to get out of my gloom and doom mentality and find my joy again.
That joy, by the way, is always right before my eyes...and they certainly don't need perfection from me. They just need a mommy who loves them no matter what- and I feel confident saying that I totally have that part covered.
Happy Friday Friends!!
Then I commented and somewhere in there I said "Perfection is not a necessity for happiness".
Should I adopt this as my new mantra?? Rhetorical question folks because HELL yes, I should.
Mike and I had a giant heart-to-heart talk last night...That, along with some very nice comments received on my last two posts, is helping me to slowly come back to planet earth. I am a person who does not respond well to too much stress & basically I had reached my threshold and then some. Having a 3-day weekend definitely helps my mindset. I also got my hair cut/colored last night which gave me a boost because I look much less crappy. When I get overly-stressed, I always sound like I am about to jump off a cliff but it actually takes very little to bring me back to center.
My father-in-law is in town for a few days so all the boys went out this morning for some post-Birthday shopping at Toys R Us. This left me home alone for a couple hours to putter around, do a few things and relax. The boys are napping (well, one is and the other isn't but he is mostly quiet) so I am relaxing now too and we have the rest of today plus TWO more days to just do whatever we want. Sunday I am also having lunch with friends. Some much-needed girl time, along with the quality family time, should go a long way in helping me get my priorities in order. It should also help me to get out of my gloom and doom mentality and find my joy again.
That joy, by the way, is always right before my eyes...and they certainly don't need perfection from me. They just need a mommy who loves them no matter what- and I feel confident saying that I totally have that part covered.
Happy Friday Friends!!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
My Mom
I have for a loooong time now been wanting to tell you a little bit about my mom and why she is so awesome. And so first I give you-- The Top 10 Reasons Why My Mom Rocks:
1. She is a strong person who stands by her beliefs.
2. She comes to my house at 6:30 in the morning to help me get the boys out the door on time because she knows I suck at life in the morning & wants to help.
3. She taught me so many little everyday things that are SO important in life. Example: Always give a firm handshake. I rolled my eyes at the time but I think of her advice even today, especially in professional situations.
4. She has been overwhelmingly helpful to us during our financial nightmares and never makes me feel guilty or shameful about it. I gotta give my dad credit on this one too. They are both so generous and I am not talking about money- although they have been there in that respect, too.
5. She is absolutely in love with my boys- of course, she is "Grammy" so she is biased but she is at my house pretty much every day. I think she makes up reasons to stop by because she just loves to see them. My dad gets lots of credit here too-- "Poppy" loves to spend time with his buddies. My parents are at my house ALOT. Some people might find it intrusive...and yet, it all works out. Mike never complains- in fact, he welcomes it. Their presence is a blessing to our family. Michael and Liam have a real relationship with them and I hope it continues to be that way.
6. She brings our family together. My parents do not have a big house at this point in their lives but whenever we get together, there is always somehow enough room for everyone. And everyone always feels welcomed.
7. She supports me as a parent. This was a big turning point in our relationship. There was a definite point where I knew for certain that my mom regarded me as an adult and I really appreciate that. I can tell that she respects me at that level and while she is always there if I need advice, she doesn't push it on me.
8. She is alot of fun. I love spending time with her. It's nice if the kids are sleeping and we can sit around and just shoot the bull.
9. She tolerates my annoying personality traits and doesn't give me crap about them- unless it is truly deserved of course.
10. She taught me to think for myself, to be kind and to go that extra mile for family and friends. She taught me too many things to name.
No words can really capture what my mom means to me. This list hits the highlights. How can I put into words how much comfort my mom could bring to me when I was sick...how she always conveyed her love to me...how she has always been there for me, even when she disagreed. There are no words that can truly reflect the depth of a mother's love.
Since I have become a mother, I understand her now in a way that I didn't before. Some of the decisions she and my dad made make sense. Maybe some things I felt bitter about- well, I see there was no reason for bitterness on my part. Don't get me wrong, we never had a big rift between us. But becoming a mother opens up your perspective and I think that is when you truly understand the term "unconditional love". I pray that I can show my children how much I love them and that they know I will always stand by them, no matter what.
1. She is a strong person who stands by her beliefs.
2. She comes to my house at 6:30 in the morning to help me get the boys out the door on time because she knows I suck at life in the morning & wants to help.
3. She taught me so many little everyday things that are SO important in life. Example: Always give a firm handshake. I rolled my eyes at the time but I think of her advice even today, especially in professional situations.
4. She has been overwhelmingly helpful to us during our financial nightmares and never makes me feel guilty or shameful about it. I gotta give my dad credit on this one too. They are both so generous and I am not talking about money- although they have been there in that respect, too.
5. She is absolutely in love with my boys- of course, she is "Grammy" so she is biased but she is at my house pretty much every day. I think she makes up reasons to stop by because she just loves to see them. My dad gets lots of credit here too-- "Poppy" loves to spend time with his buddies. My parents are at my house ALOT. Some people might find it intrusive...and yet, it all works out. Mike never complains- in fact, he welcomes it. Their presence is a blessing to our family. Michael and Liam have a real relationship with them and I hope it continues to be that way.
6. She brings our family together. My parents do not have a big house at this point in their lives but whenever we get together, there is always somehow enough room for everyone. And everyone always feels welcomed.
7. She supports me as a parent. This was a big turning point in our relationship. There was a definite point where I knew for certain that my mom regarded me as an adult and I really appreciate that. I can tell that she respects me at that level and while she is always there if I need advice, she doesn't push it on me.
8. She is alot of fun. I love spending time with her. It's nice if the kids are sleeping and we can sit around and just shoot the bull.
9. She tolerates my annoying personality traits and doesn't give me crap about them- unless it is truly deserved of course.
10. She taught me to think for myself, to be kind and to go that extra mile for family and friends. She taught me too many things to name.
No words can really capture what my mom means to me. This list hits the highlights. How can I put into words how much comfort my mom could bring to me when I was sick...how she always conveyed her love to me...how she has always been there for me, even when she disagreed. There are no words that can truly reflect the depth of a mother's love.
Since I have become a mother, I understand her now in a way that I didn't before. Some of the decisions she and my dad made make sense. Maybe some things I felt bitter about- well, I see there was no reason for bitterness on my part. Don't get me wrong, we never had a big rift between us. But becoming a mother opens up your perspective and I think that is when you truly understand the term "unconditional love". I pray that I can show my children how much I love them and that they know I will always stand by them, no matter what.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Runny noses, coughs, fevers & a BIRTHDAY
First, my poor little boys- they have had a rough week!
Michael: spiked a 103.2 degree fever late on Tuesday afternoon ...he looked so out of it. I actually took his real temp (yeah, the rectal-ugh). Luckily it resolved by Wednesday night with Motrin and a Tylenol bump. He got to call out sick from school on Wednesday and make a quick visit to the doc (due to a rash that accompanied the fever). Yesterday he was fine but now today he is clearly run down and has a very croupy sounding cough plus a runny nose. He is a trooper though.
Liam: did pretty well this week until this morning. He woke up seeming very tired and just wanted to snuggle with someone. He was still pleasant though and his runny nose didn't really kick in until this afternoon. He also felt especially warm when he got up from his nap. That along with his behavior told me that he was running at least a low grade fever. He was walking around whining and wanted me to hold him. So I gave up my idea of making dinner early and sat down with him to cuddle. Sure enough, he fell asleep on me for about 45 minutes.
Luckily, the boys were only at school (daycare but we call it school) for a few hours this morning. I was very happy that I had a planned day off. The appointment that I took the day off to attend ended up being MUCH shorter than anticipated & I was thinking I had really wasted a vacation day. But given that they were both feeling so badly, I was happy that they got to be in the comfort of their own home and that I got to take care of them when they were feeling like crud. It was actually a really nice afternoon and evening in spite of all the coughing, sneezing and snot. We also took them for haircuts before we went home for lunch- boy did they both need it! I will try to post some pictures of them soon.
Mike and I have also both been congested/stuffy feeling but it's been manageable.
Okay, enough sickness. TOMORROW is a very special day as it is my mom's birthday :) She will be 72 and I have to tell you, she is an amazing woman and you would not guess her to be 72. She is an intricate part of our lives (in a good way) & is always supportive of us in every way possible. I will definitely need to dedicate tomorrow's post to her and I can tell you a little more about her then.
Michael: spiked a 103.2 degree fever late on Tuesday afternoon ...he looked so out of it. I actually took his real temp (yeah, the rectal-ugh). Luckily it resolved by Wednesday night with Motrin and a Tylenol bump. He got to call out sick from school on Wednesday and make a quick visit to the doc (due to a rash that accompanied the fever). Yesterday he was fine but now today he is clearly run down and has a very croupy sounding cough plus a runny nose. He is a trooper though.
Liam: did pretty well this week until this morning. He woke up seeming very tired and just wanted to snuggle with someone. He was still pleasant though and his runny nose didn't really kick in until this afternoon. He also felt especially warm when he got up from his nap. That along with his behavior told me that he was running at least a low grade fever. He was walking around whining and wanted me to hold him. So I gave up my idea of making dinner early and sat down with him to cuddle. Sure enough, he fell asleep on me for about 45 minutes.
Luckily, the boys were only at school (daycare but we call it school) for a few hours this morning. I was very happy that I had a planned day off. The appointment that I took the day off to attend ended up being MUCH shorter than anticipated & I was thinking I had really wasted a vacation day. But given that they were both feeling so badly, I was happy that they got to be in the comfort of their own home and that I got to take care of them when they were feeling like crud. It was actually a really nice afternoon and evening in spite of all the coughing, sneezing and snot. We also took them for haircuts before we went home for lunch- boy did they both need it! I will try to post some pictures of them soon.
Mike and I have also both been congested/stuffy feeling but it's been manageable.
Okay, enough sickness. TOMORROW is a very special day as it is my mom's birthday :) She will be 72 and I have to tell you, she is an amazing woman and you would not guess her to be 72. She is an intricate part of our lives (in a good way) & is always supportive of us in every way possible. I will definitely need to dedicate tomorrow's post to her and I can tell you a little more about her then.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
On the mend...
Mike and Michael are feeling better today- thankfully! Unfortunately, we have passed a remnant of the stomach bug on to my nephew (sorry Connor!!!). I hope that it is short-lived and that no one else gets sick!
Today, we went to a local place called the Brandywine River Museum with my parents. It is close by and admission for the boys was free! While they have ALOT of artwork that doesn't really interest the toddler/preschooler set...they also have an awesome train room. The boys really enjoyed it. Then we had a late lunch, came back home for naps and then got together with some good friends of ours that are in town this week.
It was a MUCH better day by far. We got to have fun!! Hopefully, I can share a few pictures very soon. For now, I am trying to de-germ my entire house (and organize too). We are planning to pack some much-needed family time into this weekend as well.
Today, we went to a local place called the Brandywine River Museum with my parents. It is close by and admission for the boys was free! While they have ALOT of artwork that doesn't really interest the toddler/preschooler set...they also have an awesome train room. The boys really enjoyed it. Then we had a late lunch, came back home for naps and then got together with some good friends of ours that are in town this week.
It was a MUCH better day by far. We got to have fun!! Hopefully, I can share a few pictures very soon. For now, I am trying to de-germ my entire house (and organize too). We are planning to pack some much-needed family time into this weekend as well.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
A Post That Isn't Work Related
Are you excited? Well, don't be...I am going to attempt to ask you about a situation that I am not able to fully explain here.
You see, I do censor some of what I might blog about here because I don't know if I might some day share this blog with family members (or they might find it on their own) and so I choose not to air ALL the dirty laundry...but here's a stinky pair of socks-
I know I have mentioned once before that there is an ongoing conflict between Mike and his younger brother. They will tolerate each other's presence but aren't on speaking terms. There was a recent eruption of said conflict, involving another family member. Mike's family is a close one and they really do care about each other. I sometimes think that makes arguments, etc. even more dramatic.
Well, during this recent eruption, one family member implicated our kids. To be more specific, this person alluded to the idea that because of the ADULT conflict, this person didn't know when he/she might see our kids again. This happened about a week and a half ago...I am still struggling with what was said.
I think that this statement was a "heat of the moment" type of thing and that this person was not trying to put the kids in the middle of this or be manipulative. But there is a part of me that still says this type of comment is unacceptable. Especially when it was said TO the kids.
While a one-year-old might not pick up on this or the emotion behind it, a two-year-old WILL pick up on at least the tone of voice/emotion and recognize that something isn't kosher.
I still haven't addressed my feelings with the speaker of these words but I feel that I need to say something. Just to let this person know that while I understand their feelings, I don't want my kids to ever be put in the middle of a conflict that is NOT THEIR PROBLEM! Yes, they are going to hear/see arguments. Heaven knows Mike and I argue...but the difference is, when we argue, the kids also see us resolve things. In this situation, the person stormed out of the house right after uttering these words...there was no resolution, there was barely a good-bye. It was awful.
I know it might be hard to judge with the limited detail but I am hoping I have captured the gist
What would you do?
1. Address it now just so your feelings are heard
OR
2. Chalk it up to a bad moment and not worry about it unless it happens again
OR
3. Open to suggestions
You see, I do censor some of what I might blog about here because I don't know if I might some day share this blog with family members (or they might find it on their own) and so I choose not to air ALL the dirty laundry...but here's a stinky pair of socks-
I know I have mentioned once before that there is an ongoing conflict between Mike and his younger brother. They will tolerate each other's presence but aren't on speaking terms. There was a recent eruption of said conflict, involving another family member. Mike's family is a close one and they really do care about each other. I sometimes think that makes arguments, etc. even more dramatic.
Well, during this recent eruption, one family member implicated our kids. To be more specific, this person alluded to the idea that because of the ADULT conflict, this person didn't know when he/she might see our kids again. This happened about a week and a half ago...I am still struggling with what was said.
I think that this statement was a "heat of the moment" type of thing and that this person was not trying to put the kids in the middle of this or be manipulative. But there is a part of me that still says this type of comment is unacceptable. Especially when it was said TO the kids.
While a one-year-old might not pick up on this or the emotion behind it, a two-year-old WILL pick up on at least the tone of voice/emotion and recognize that something isn't kosher.
I still haven't addressed my feelings with the speaker of these words but I feel that I need to say something. Just to let this person know that while I understand their feelings, I don't want my kids to ever be put in the middle of a conflict that is NOT THEIR PROBLEM! Yes, they are going to hear/see arguments. Heaven knows Mike and I argue...but the difference is, when we argue, the kids also see us resolve things. In this situation, the person stormed out of the house right after uttering these words...there was no resolution, there was barely a good-bye. It was awful.
I know it might be hard to judge with the limited detail but I am hoping I have captured the gist
What would you do?
1. Address it now just so your feelings are heard
OR
2. Chalk it up to a bad moment and not worry about it unless it happens again
OR
3. Open to suggestions
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Photos
BATH TIME!
From about a week ago
The boys love their bath time
left-Liam: large and in charge
Michael with his usual goofy face
And Liam with the goofy face- whatever happened to just smiling?
Reading time with Poppy (below)
The last 2 are our Thanksgiving craft that we worked on after dinner...they turned out pretty well, I think!! Michael and Liam have not been the most cooperative when it comes to me getting a nice shot of them together...hey, I tried! Michael looks kind of drunk in that last one- I promise he is not! Hope you are having a great weekend :)
From about a week ago
The boys love their bath time
left-Liam: large and in charge
Michael with his usual goofy face
And Liam with the goofy face- whatever happened to just smiling?
Reading time with Poppy (below)
The last 2 are our Thanksgiving craft that we worked on after dinner...they turned out pretty well, I think!! Michael and Liam have not been the most cooperative when it comes to me getting a nice shot of them together...hey, I tried! Michael looks kind of drunk in that last one- I promise he is not! Hope you are having a great weekend :)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Does it have to end?
As you know, I was already pretty happy with this weekend and to top it off-
What a great Sunday! We had the luxury of another leisurely day. I feel like this weekend, we all had the chance to truly relax and rest. Yet we still had fun and took care of a few chores too. Today we had an easy morning, went to church as planned, had lunch and then the boys took a rather looong nap. I think they are both fighting off colds so they needed the rest.
After dinner (pizza!), I mixed up some cookie dough and we made chocolate chip cookies with the boys. Mike & I could divide and conquer so Michael and Liam were able to help without things getting too crazy. They really enjoyed helping to get the dough onto cookie sheets and then eating the fruits of their labor. Well, there was no fruit involved I guess but you get my meaning. I wish I had taken a few pictures!
The whole weekend probably sounds oh-so-boring but I feel like we had such great bonding time. Sometimes what seems like nothing special turns out to be rather extraordinary.
Positives? I don't think I need a separate list this time around :)
What a great Sunday! We had the luxury of another leisurely day. I feel like this weekend, we all had the chance to truly relax and rest. Yet we still had fun and took care of a few chores too. Today we had an easy morning, went to church as planned, had lunch and then the boys took a rather looong nap. I think they are both fighting off colds so they needed the rest.
After dinner (pizza!), I mixed up some cookie dough and we made chocolate chip cookies with the boys. Mike & I could divide and conquer so Michael and Liam were able to help without things getting too crazy. They really enjoyed helping to get the dough onto cookie sheets and then eating the fruits of their labor. Well, there was no fruit involved I guess but you get my meaning. I wish I had taken a few pictures!
The whole weekend probably sounds oh-so-boring but I feel like we had such great bonding time. Sometimes what seems like nothing special turns out to be rather extraordinary.
Positives? I don't think I need a separate list this time around :)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
A Real Weekend
Mike actually has off this weekend and we are enjoying it so far. Because the weather has been so uncooperative, we went to the mall last night just so the boys could run off some energy in the play area. We rarely go to the mall these days but it was worth the trip. I knew Michael and Liam were feeling a bit confined and watching them run and climb like monkeys made me SO happy that we took this little trip. We had some Auntie Anne's pretzels for a snack and then came home. The boys went to sleep without much fuss.
Today, Mike and Michael went grocery shopping. Liam stayed home and hung out with "Poppy" (my dad). I actually got some things done upstairs like: changing the sheets, vacuuming, a little dusting, and general clean up. I focused more time on Liam's room because he has been battling a runny nose and I just felt like his room needed a better cleaning. The downstairs is still germ-central. Our weather today was 67 degrees so at least we had our front and back doors open to let some air circulate. I don't know if that actually helps but it made me feel better.
Tonight we had dinner, then had fun with playdoh, (spellcheck told me this word should be Plato or Playboy?) played in the basement, did the bath/bed routine. And now, Liam is sleeping beauty and Michael is WIDE AWAKE because apparently there are monsters lurking.
Tomorrow we plan to go to church in the morning and just see what the day brings. I am hoping that this rain will ease up so that we can have some outdoor time. Oh how I wish we had more weekends like this- just relaxing and fun.
The Good Stuff:
*Liam is talking up a storm and it's getting easier to understand what he is saying. Now if I ask where something is and it's close by, Liam shows me and says "White ear" (Right here). He amazes me.
*Michael is in a lovey dovey mood. Lots of kisses, hugs and cuddles. Oh, he is still 2 no doubt but there is snuggle-time built into each day. Also, instead of saying "No" when he doesn't want to do something, he says "Not"...and all I can think of is like, bill and ted's excellent adventure lingo...No way? Uh, WAY! --Does anyone remember that or do I sound insane?
Hope you are having a fun weekend!
Today, Mike and Michael went grocery shopping. Liam stayed home and hung out with "Poppy" (my dad). I actually got some things done upstairs like: changing the sheets, vacuuming, a little dusting, and general clean up. I focused more time on Liam's room because he has been battling a runny nose and I just felt like his room needed a better cleaning. The downstairs is still germ-central. Our weather today was 67 degrees so at least we had our front and back doors open to let some air circulate. I don't know if that actually helps but it made me feel better.
Tonight we had dinner, then had fun with playdoh, (spellcheck told me this word should be Plato or Playboy?) played in the basement, did the bath/bed routine. And now, Liam is sleeping beauty and Michael is WIDE AWAKE because apparently there are monsters lurking.
Tomorrow we plan to go to church in the morning and just see what the day brings. I am hoping that this rain will ease up so that we can have some outdoor time. Oh how I wish we had more weekends like this- just relaxing and fun.
The Good Stuff:
*Liam is talking up a storm and it's getting easier to understand what he is saying. Now if I ask where something is and it's close by, Liam shows me and says "White ear" (Right here). He amazes me.
*Michael is in a lovey dovey mood. Lots of kisses, hugs and cuddles. Oh, he is still 2 no doubt but there is snuggle-time built into each day. Also, instead of saying "No" when he doesn't want to do something, he says "Not"...and all I can think of is like, bill and ted's excellent adventure lingo...No way? Uh, WAY! --Does anyone remember that or do I sound insane?
Hope you are having a fun weekend!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Vague But True
This is going to be vague...consider yourself warned...but on the chance that I ever share this blog with family members, I don't want there to be any content that would make them feel upset or exposed. So the details here are limited.
I really can't stand family drama. Having endured my share of it in my own family of origin and having been in the 'peacemaker' role for most of my life, I don't enjoy ongoing, long-term drama. It makes me uncomfortable and limits my ability to truly enjoy family functions...because I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I also tend to harbor an unspoken sense of responsibility- like maybe I should be doing something to help the situation. Even when I know that there are good reasons why that shouldn't be my job.
In this case, I will simply say that my husband and his younger brother have had an ongoing rift between them for about 1.5 years. They don't speak to one another. You can imagine how that plays out at family events. There is always that sense of the elephant in the room. No one talks about it in the moment but it is so obvious that they don't interact at all.
Mike's family is a close one. I know they wish that things were different (especially his mom). I wish that too. But at this point, change doesn't appear to be coming any time soon.
Vague, I know. But I am going to bet that many people will somehow know exactly what I mean.
I really can't stand family drama. Having endured my share of it in my own family of origin and having been in the 'peacemaker' role for most of my life, I don't enjoy ongoing, long-term drama. It makes me uncomfortable and limits my ability to truly enjoy family functions...because I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I also tend to harbor an unspoken sense of responsibility- like maybe I should be doing something to help the situation. Even when I know that there are good reasons why that shouldn't be my job.
In this case, I will simply say that my husband and his younger brother have had an ongoing rift between them for about 1.5 years. They don't speak to one another. You can imagine how that plays out at family events. There is always that sense of the elephant in the room. No one talks about it in the moment but it is so obvious that they don't interact at all.
Mike's family is a close one. I know they wish that things were different (especially his mom). I wish that too. But at this point, change doesn't appear to be coming any time soon.
Vague, I know. But I am going to bet that many people will somehow know exactly what I mean.
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